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premier battles - caustic vs. chris leese lyrics

[round 1: chris leese]
what’s his name?
caustic
he went a whole round talkin’ ’bout one of his opponent’s havin’ a soft d-ck
hehe caustic
he only travels by airplane cause he gets car sick
caustic
he does not give one sh-t
i spent the last two months f-ckin’ sh-ttin’ my pants
cause in the third round he’s going to bring up all them lil’ kids i’ve sh-gged
he’ll dig up anything
he’ll dig up your raps
dig up your instagram, f-ckin’ dig up your snaps
dish up the dirt when he digs up your past
and if he finds out your parents are dead he’ll f-ckin’ dig up your dad
but i don’t air things out when i stick my d-ck in a slag
i’ve been arrested but i’m not the type of pr-ck that’ll brag
i don’t hit women, i’m always sniffin’ up grams
and i have more money than you…ha good luck diggin’ up that
i mean, you can bring up that fact that locksmyth tipped up my cap
but i didn’t flinch or move back, i was too focused on winnin’ the clash
but trust me daniel, i’m always down to kick up and scr-p
test and your chin’ll get smacked
i’ll be liftin’ ya cap cause i ain’t a lil b-tch like you that’s afraid to hit someone back
if you would, give me a slap
but there’s about 16 lads down there that’ll give you ’em back
see the best hope of leavin’ england intact is to lie down and play dead while you get zipped in a bag
draped in the american flag then go back to life when they’re shippin’ you back
[?] you will not see me rattled
hah, what a lil’ rascal, he’s softer and sweeter than a [?] bar stool
yeah i thought the arcane and jeff clashes were compliment battles
beer break
{grabs his beer and drinks it}
queer fake
freestyle
i honestly can’t wait to hear what he’s brung for me
cause his only f-ckin’ game plan is bein’ a c-nt to me
i’m a piece of sh-t mate, being belittled is fun to me
so if you plan on insultin’ me
you better lie down, spread your legs, give birth, do a song for me
k!ll him and resurrect him then f-ck him in front of me
you’re a pedophile, yeah
you lil’ dirty motherf-cker
he definitely would fancy me if i was 20 years younger
people sayin’ i should be afraid of what he could say to me
like me even bein’ here is some m-ssive feat of bravery
have you seen me lately?
hah, the whole scene’s afraid of me
f-ck caustic, this sh-t’s a piece of cake to me
he only beat jeff, don’t be actin’ like he’s a name to me
he should suck my d-ck for even bein’ on stage wit’ me
come take this beatin’ graciously
i buried more (moor) kids than ian brady see (sea)
you’re either making me a murderer all the police are framin’ me
cause you’re gettin’ bars you don’t deserve like steven avery
look, what we started as a hobby and a lil’ bit of fun
has turned you into a backstabbing, spineless little c-nt
your love for researchin’ rappers has got your trail clingin’ to his mom
cause you’re better at bringin’ up the past than you are at bringin’ up your son

[round 1: caustic]
he said he was gonna jump me with his boys
his whole clique is really important
who the f-ck is gonna beat me up? you and f-ckin’ skinny the saurus?
i’d like to welcome you to the greatest battle of your career
and it’s the opposite for me so bear with me let’s persevere
i got 3 two minute rounds, a lot of people are expectin’ me to 30 here
but i don’t know how they expect me to make him interesting in six minutes when he hasn’t been able to do it in 30 years
i mean to be honest i owed a favor if i’m keepin’ it true
would’ve cost me an arm and a leg to even get even with dude
so if anybody gives me sh-t about my opponent the reason it’s you
it’s cause shotty told me battling chris is literally the least i could do
i mean he’s never had a lot of luck in his life, sh-t not at least with women
his wife’s had more sacks (sax) in her mouth than f-ckin’ lisa simpson
so if anybody’s wonderin’ why i picked such an easy victim
i guess i’m just preconditioned to takin’ the path with the least resistance
i’m not beefin’ with him
sh-t, drama i’m f-ckin’ servin’ him
sh-t, take him out the tournament
b-tch, anybody f-ckin’- i swear to god i f-ckin’ k!ll this motherf-cker like a saudi journalist
this ain’t the battle that i wanted it’s a battle that i’m workin’ with
motherf-cker i gave you this sh-t even though you didn’t deserve the sh-t
and since you wanna be america, let’s play some baseball
first pitch i’m swingin’, you walking dead
i caught a body off the bat like rick and negan
sh-t, over opinionated women, some b-tches should just stick to tweetin’
but you f-ckin’ with the legend, now you takin’ shots to the face like chrissy teigen
yo, this fools fresh outta the sticks, tryin’ to convince us you’re ghetto
smokey and the bandit i got somethin’ in the stash like burt reynolds
if i rearrange his jaw, they’ll have to rearrange his work schedule
get your shirt stained, chris chin (christian) made of gl-ss like church windows
loso’s been speakin’ to the lord and god informed him that
chris leese is not important
please be quiet when the god’s performin’
keep his flows under wraps, it means i’ll water board him
hook him up to jump cables and abuse the power like law enforcement
[?] him up, you never met a sharper swordsman
harvest organs like marijuana farms in portland
outlawed in the west plus i got an armed squad of hors-m-n
bare back ridin’ through his b-tch’s sweetw-ter like i’m arthur morgan
he’s got an album comin’ out
it’s called all good things
i heard it’s got a couple of gems, sh-t i even got to preview the sh-t
overseas i’ve got a couple of friends
i had to cut that sh-t off half way though, cause i ain’t f-ck wit’ his pen
but i learned why they had the phrase “all good things must come to an end”
i don’t know why they sent me the sh-t
maybe they did it just to f-ck wit’ him
can’t believe they trusted him
listened to every single song then i laughed at every single one of ’em
but after the sh-t was over i just sat in my chair f-ckin’ wonder
why the f-ck you named your album all good things when your f-ckin’ album wasn’t one of ’em

[round 2: chris leese]
mediocre
don’t any of you lot dare, check out any f-ckin’ women today or he’ll bring ringin’ ya missus
he you ever get [?], snitches get st-tches
he’s got no homeboys left, he’s left all their reputations to fade
tells their birds they’ve been cheatin’ so they break up again
f-ckin’ h-ll man i’m just glad you made it okay
what film did you watch on the flight? f-ckin’ snakes on a plane
serious, no man are friends with him no more
he’s [?] them all in like a pathetic little wh0r-
after this battle the very second i enter through the door
my wife will be like, “caustic’s just texted me. we’re gettin’ a divorce.”
aye, he’s such a f-ckin’ hero
standin’ up for women’s problems, so he pops up every now and then just to show he’s thinkin’ of her
every time a battle rapper’s ’bout to get their fingers poppin’
caustic stops time and lectures them like dr. dre in ‘guilty conscious’
beer break
the beer’s great
meet jefferson price
after meeting a 12 year old f-ckin’ groupie at a f-ckin’ king of the ronalds event
things start gettin’ hot and heavy in the dog kennel next to pedro’s paradise
you’re a f-ckin’ weirdo mate
off stage you’re a nice fella
on stage a vile predator
career spoiler and life ender
we’ll see how far the angles you’ve used against price get you
you beat soul cause he choked i beat soul cause i’m better
you feelin’ pumped?
you ain’t got the heart for this high pressure
i brought bars and material, both will make a nice stretcher
try to flex them biceps on my set i’ll right/left ya
pockets? might check ya
one/two, mic check ya
digest ya, cannibal, hannibal lecter, i’ll dissect ya
leave his guts hangin’ out like joker starr in a tighter sweater
i’m too fuuuuckin’ good to f-ckin’ lose to you
plus when you raise your voice you sound like scooby doo
“listen to me k!”
mate just don’t do it
especially when your whole career’s based on not tryin’ to sound stupid
you either sound like a f-ckin’ 12 year old prep-b-scent student
or eminem tryin’ to the do the chorus to ‘just lose it’
aaaaaaaaaah
aaaaaaaaaah
it’s caustic aaaaaaaaah don’t praise it
aaaaaaaaaah shotty horroh p from a holiday
why the f-ck do you do that when your rhymin’ flawed
i’m tryin’ to work out if i’m battlin’ mr. bean yoda or barney the dinosaur
aaaaaaah or f-ckin’ tarzan
aaaaaaah
“listen to me k!”
translations: i never mean a single thing i say
i’m only actin’ big when i’m on stage
i’m literally g-y, i’m willing to admit i made the biggest of mistakes
by bringin’ up your mate who’s livin’ in a grave
“and please f-ckin’ please don’t hit me in the face!”

[round 2: caustic]
chris leese
{caustic tries to sit down on a stool on stage like chris leese did in the beginning of the battle but chris kicks it out from under him}
my mom’s pregnancy lasted six weeks
little face; big t–th
tattoos on my arm; sick ink
hope you brought your mountain climbin’ gear; sh-t’s peak
chris leese
homie likes to throw shots, he might blow up but he’ll never go pop
he be in the pub takin’ his wedding ring off

[chris leese]
here we f-ckin’ go

[caustic]
he be in the pub takin’ his wedding ring off like the party don’t stop
yellin’ in b-tch’s ears like, “i said, have you heard of don’t flop?”
listen to this f-ckin’ r-t-rd isn’t an option
i don’t think chris is a problem
one punch will have him talkin’ like christopher walken
catch you kickin’ it police and i’ll put this snitch in a coffin
you kick it with piglets b-tch you christopher robin
you need to make a lil’ face and some sh-t
gruesome as sh-t, dawg if ever played captain save a hoe while i’m pimpin’ a b-tch
i’ll bust a bottle on his face like i’m f-ckin’ tryin’ to christen his sh-t
he’s from macclesfield, not exactly a place of celebration
football club’s in 24th place…in league 2 [?]
i said i’m strapped in…like a mental patient
late for his medication
met his wife, tryin’ to make his wife my main b-tch i got a kennel waitin’
metal cages, degradation
after i f-ck she said i’m racist cause i knock more hoes down than segregation
never chase him
catch him slippin’ then leatherface him
h-ll awaits him
this is the end make homie feel like jonah hill

[guy in the crowd]
whoo!

[caustic]
yeah, that’s a real -ss person
wait ’til you pop that beer look like chris’s wife p-ssy when it’s squirtin’
dawg, this f-ckin’ can’t be real
yo whole family’s gonna go broke so you can be the macklemore of macclesfield
your b-tch said that in bed you be softer than a daffodil
now she can’t c-m without a toy in her box like a f-ckin’ happy meal
dressed in all black it’ll be a dark knight (night) when your cap gets peeled
clap the steel, sh-t’ll push his whole roof back like the batmobile
you f-ckin’ barely survive when you battled quill
and i watched t put him to sleep like chamomile

[chris leese]
i’ve never battled quill

[caustic]
you never battled quill?
i don’t know i don’t watch your sh-t

b-tch i will cut your f-ckin’ neck open like a slasher film
since you wanna be a shark so bad it’s only right that i add some gills
i mean he tricks y’all, he raps fast and makes you think he hasn’t got a decent pen
but meanwhile in the crowd they’re like, “which one is chris leese again?”
like, “oh you know him. the one with the inner bpm permanently set to f-ckin’ edm.”
what, you get tired of like f-ckin’ ridin’ your tractor?
you’re like the third best one on shark city dude, you’re really climbin’ the ladder
it’s like he came to shotty like, “people think i’m funny but they don’t think i’m that tight of a rapper.”
shotty’s like, “why does it matter? if they don’t react just try rhymin’ it faster.”
you remind me of one of those little make a wish foundation kids is dyin’ of cancer
and your final request was f-ckin’ writing for raptor
he keeps talkin’ about my pink shirt like i’m gettin’ embarr-ssed
but d-mn chris you got man t-ts i’m just tryin’ to raise some breast cancer awareness

[round 3: chris leese]
got illmac over here, little cheerleader, wavin’ that sh-t ’round like it’s good
you’re the p-ssy, sorry you’re the p-ssy, he’s the cl-toris that’s why he’s holdin’ the pink hood
i said yo
yo!
bruv, i said yo
bro, we know you said yo
you said you said yo 16 times in every battle since 16 f-ckin’ battles ago
think it’s impressive? no?
then why do you always boast
as if the crowd’s gonna blow like, “yo bro he just f-ckin’ said yoooo!”
you don’t need to tell us you said yo, just f-ckin’ say yo
it’s confusin’, i don’t know which way to go
when you say you said yo, are you just tryin’ to say yo?
or you’re referring to a time in the past when you previously said you said yo
anyway, it’s time to let go
so check this for a joke
caustic asked me what the yellow bit inside an egg is, i said, “yolk”
trust me ’bout one thing i know, “listen to me k!” man, you’re a hoe
you ain’t no battling goat, you just battle the goats
unless it’s don’t flop or king of the dot your views are drastically low
the only reason this italian’s known in the game is cause of the platform like mario bros
he’s insecure, the exact kinda rapper i loath
he brags and he boasts like he’s got the nastiest quotes
but every fan in here knows it’s an act just for show
his character’s more see thru than casper the ghost
think of all the rhymes this n0b’s stole
i would’ve wiped my -ss with the material you ripped off; [?]
these hands have made muppets move like gonzo
i will see him vanish like the video for ‘crossroads’
it’s target practice with tin cans if he ever shot c0ke
but this is apple on the head precision, come get a gl-ss of strongbow
jed would’ve beat you easy if he did not choke
but just as in a big smokey robinson (smoke he robbin’ son) doesn’t mean he got soul
see i ain’t the same as all these battle rappin’ f-gs
they’ll f-ckin’ battle anyone so long as they get their travel back
“a free vacation to england scr-ppy?”
dan will pack his bags, but this trip will stay with him forever like a bad acid tab
now you’re stuck thinkin’ ’bout this sh-t
now you’re stuck in the middle of me, you better think quick
i’ll cut ya f-ckin’ ear off, you won’t hear sh-t
you’re gonna bark all day? what’s a little b-tch to a big pit?
but this ain’t reservoir dogs your bird can get the pink tip
so f-ck you to anyone that labels this pr-ck as a wordsmith
f-ck your shock tactics and f-ck the lies that you stick in your verses
f-ck the lyrics you sold and f-ck the lyrics you purchased
i just k!lled you and buried you with the same shovel you’ve been diggin’ your dirt with
big up to the homie soul, i hope he f-ckin’ rocks it
just remember, if he wins he’s great britain, if he loses he’s scottish

[round 3: caustic]
are you still talkin’ about the f-ckin’ jacket man?

[chris leese]
nah, i just said you’re a c-nt

[caustic]
first off, before this happens-
i said yooooo!
(yoooo!)
that’s how you do that sh-t
f-ck it i’m freestylin’, aight

[chris leese]
ooooh

[caustic]
nah, not the whole thing, don’t f-ckin’ get excited

[chris leese]
i’m f-ckin’ bored man

[caustic]
you’re bored? well sh-t this reb-ttals ’bout to be makin’ you happy
you talkin’ sh-t ’bout my jacket when your f-ckin’ t-shirt looks like a restaurant nappy
i came to the uk, to clash with a top notch wordsmith
but now he prays victim like how gods got worshiped
but now that i’m here you want the top spot perfect
see this is where a shotty script and a joseph kahn plot merges
cause there’s no way i’m gettin’ bodied by these knock off verses (vs)
so even in your talent pool you considered an average dude; facts (fax)
machine, that’s how wack rappers get m-ss produced
you cop a f-ckin’ att-tude i’ll bust you in your snaggletooth
so if i have to snap on you i’m gonna use the same blood that thanos used
my dude, if i saw you beggin’ on the streets i wouldn’t give you a quarter
you gotta wifey sittin’ at home that he can barely support her
i hope you never have daughters, you’d be a f-ckin’ terrible father
no wonder you wanted to be a shark so bad you can barely keep your f-ckin’ head above water
i will dump seamen (sea men) in that b-tch, she’s a ship in a bottle
i will put my d-ck in her tonsils and bust nuts until my jizz drips out her nostrils
beat the p-ssy up; infinite combo
sorry, ‘not sorry’ b-tch; demi lovato
beat me? chris leese you gotta better chance at winnin’ the lotto
you got a bunch of squares in your circle y’all some chicken and waffles
yo, when it comes to your wife’s s-x life she’s the least involved
it’s ironic they call him shark city, right?
cause she gave his whole team the jaws
this b-tch give out so much f-ckin’ brain that she de-evolved
her mouth’s basically just a f-ckin’ machine made to clean your b-lls
i mean i’m not gonna front on the b-tch, the f-ckin’ head is amazin’
the problem is after all of us finish she f-ckin’ follows me around like a federal agent
i mean she tried to f-ck the whole squad on several occ-ssions
had the whole clique (cl!ck) bouncin’ off the walls like echo locations
this b-tch said vows in front of god that she’d never betray him
now she’s lookin’ at her p-ssy sideways like s-x wit’ an asian
i’ll catch him while he’s drivin’, he’s dead if i’m aimin’
sh-t’ll crack your whole hood like president reagan
it’s tight that you gettin’ excited
and since you f-ckin’ love jefferson price you f-ckin’ found a b-tch just like him
and f-ckin’ made her your wife, maybe that’s why they call you leese (lease)
cause you’re gonna pay for your mistakes for the rest of your life

- premier battles lyrics

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