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present absence - i wish you knew lyrics

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last time you saw me with a smile on my face
we laughed talkin’ about the day
but i wish you knew how it really feels like
to be absent for your mind, like i wasn’t there

and you‘ll never know what’s like to be so different
it feels like every f+cking day will just increase the distance
feels like i lean with my nose against the window
but the scent of the outside world will never reach my senses

and i’ll never know how it feels to go to bed with a clear head
without consoling myself there’s still more time ahead
without thinking of death
without reflecting on words that i’ve said
without feeling this pressure of dread
pushing right on my chest



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