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primus - detachable penis lyrics

i woke up this morning
with a bad hangover
and my p-n-s was missing again.
this happens all the time:
it’s detachable.
this comes in handy a lot of the time:
i can leave it home
when i think it’s going to get me in trouble,
or i can rent it out
when i don’t need it.
but now and then i go to a party,
get drunk,
and the next morning i can’t for the life of me
remember what i did with it.

first i looked around my apartment
and i couldn’t find it
so i called up the place where the party was.
they hadn’t seen it either.
i asked them to check the medicine cabinet
(because for some reason i leave it there sometimes)
but not this time.
so i told them if it pops up to let me know.
i called some other people from the party
but they were no help either.

i was starting to get desperate.
i really don’t like being without my p-n-s for too long.
it makes me feel like less of a man,
and i really hate having to sit down every time i take a leak.

after a few hours of searching the house
and calling everyone i could think of,
i was starting to get very depressed.
so i went to the kiev and ate breakfast.
then as i walked down second avenue
towards st. mark’s place where all those
people sell used books and other junk on the street,
i saw my p-n-s lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
some guy was selling it.
i had to buy it off him,
he wanted 22 bucks,
but i talked him down to 17.
i took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.

i was happy again.
complete.
people sometimes tell me i should get it permanently attached, but,
i don’t know. even though it’s sometimes a pain in the -ss,
i like having a detachable p-n-s.

- primus lyrics

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