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psychforreal - been busy lyrics

been busy
(intro)
i think i jus wanna talk
it’s just that i don’t know what to say
at a—

(verse 1)
i’m perfect at starting sh+t but ain’t ever finish a masterpiece
i’m a perfectionist but will leave anything incomplete
instances where i should’ve taken a risk stuck on repeat
this whole year i been wondering who i’m supposed to be
from every godd+mn person that i seem to meet asking me what i wanna be
acting as if they’re naive when i answer with

“i don’t know im lost in what i need”

yeah
existential at heart it’s a cycle i’m stuck in
i keep going back to why but only end with why question
think about everything that i have and everything i don’t
think about where i am in contrast to most
but still then

with a new and fresh perspective
i guess people really meant it when they said that i been misplacing my efforts
i can still remember everytime i recited a nihilistic excerpt
and yes i hate the experts
for being right about everything that i have
for being right when they said i am who i am cuz of half of my past
stated im f+cked up for being glad i don’t have a dad
when really it’s not that simple and not why i rap
it’s honestly a lot more than i care to unwrap
that’s being everything every+time everywhere
when truth is i been laying low from anywhere
i’m careless
that sums it all up
why care about anything when nothings enough
every other night digging up
why i’m me
only to end with a bigger hole than i was
before i got deep

i dont wanna forget why i’m still here or
where my goals lie
just still stare at the mirror every other night
thinking about how time flies
only when i look back
because in the moment i wish it would go fast+er
i been busy tho
letting my self go
aft+er
things i shouldn’t even hold onto anymore
like career in music or career in any non fluid aspect
i’m passing by peoples lives
passing by people who actually live their own struggles offline
im careless

maybe because my future hasn’t been this bright
maybe because what i’m living through at the moment
is worse than i’ve ever survived

maybe it’s cause the control is no longer in my sight
maybe this and if that but i don’t leave sh+t to possibilities
only become and am what i’m trying to be

myself

and others have seen the gradual shift i taken
went from main concerns being vacant to overthinking everything i’m saying
been bothering people who don’t care for me
been bothering people who don’t think of me
i need attention to fill holes i can’t fill myself
i crave a conversation where i feel like i can tell
all that’s on my mind
is being in the future with a peaceful state mind

(verse 2)
i been busy
that’s what we all seem to say
my girl been talkin to me less and less every day
we used to have plans to be together smiling as we reign
now i sit and stare with a blank face at the rain
waiting for the phone to ring
“h+llo, no one is available to take your call, please leave a message after the tone”
i’m not saying it’s her fault because i got my own faults
i’m in constant need for reassurance and late night calls
knowing d+mn well i don’t deserve any of your time
you leaving my texts unread/(on read) for hours i can count all nine
and still be addicted to you fine
i need to let you unwind

(bridge)
hey can we talk
yeah i just woke up

(verse 3)
in love with broken girls cuz they reflect my life
been hurting just knowing you talking to other guys
who give you what you need before they ask are you alright
been burning knowing im not sh+t except a post lost in your timeline

i been relaxed since you was claimed mine
till you decided that it ain’t the right time
i agree, just feel a certain way when my time is excised
then the 2 min waiting turns to too many changes on the clock faces
i’m anxious about how hard these next two years could be
but i’m still waiting for my queen
and when you ask me how lifes been once the wait is over i’ll say
i been busy

i been busy
i guess we all been
friends since middle school saying i’m evolving
not knowing that it’s only getting harder for me to stop yawning
restless as my revolver revolves around my thought process
why die when this nonsense is jus life that i don’t even think exists
running circles around me as i’m drowning in my thoughts
overthinking is a speciality which i don’t care to flaunt

the cycle that life’s become is getting redundant
i’m wondering if there’s an abundance of likeminded consciousness
or is this not something that should not cross my lips
but still then i break promises

my life picked up in pace once i had a full plate
paying attention to placement related patience
post part time partic+p+tion from people who play publications
publicly pr+nounced as an ancient form of petition based rotations
and relations that i fail to maintain or remain complacent
due to my self invasive habits
lose 2 by telling faces i’m acting
work my ass off in every role
“but for what?”
when they ask and i still don’t know
what i’m aiming for

(verse 4)
i been busy
all my friends response when i ask them to get wit me
when it’s just that they outgrew what i used to be
they don’t f+ck w me like they used to
i’m used to fast pace changes truthful
i’ve never known any other way to live
if all that i had were connections
w people who wanna end sh+t but don’t know how to word it
why do i still try over preforming
yeah
d+mn

i been busy
is what i’m told when i ask how my past has been
looking back so much i cause head last collisions
regret a majority of what i’ve done and still act like they weren’t my decisions

not to reflect on what’s already existed but
the thought of thinking is caving in on me
that’s why i try to stay busy

retract myself from issues that require intimacy
death whispers in my ears the promises of liberty
tempting my soul to reach for the beginning
so
i’m perfect at nothing
and being sh+t isn’t even an assumption
yet i’m wonderin if my thoughts will change with age
but i shouldn’t look forward to slow down my pace
instead i should be here present in this moment
so with that being said i’ll make sure i hold this
with every ounce of my being im sure this is worth it
or at least it will be when my plants start growing
even my mom has told me to be patient, keep up my efficiency
only to get upset when i leave her texts on seen
i apologize
i guess
i just been busy

- psychforreal lyrics

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