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puppit - an honest attempt at growth lyrics

in 6th grade, my english teacher said i’m vindictive, wote it down in a file that i had been given
to bring with me up to madison middle and put it in front of my teachers one at a time
mom had given me deliberate directions not to read it, but leave it sealed inside a manilla envelope, so naturally i opened it
and read it all on the bus on the way back home then closed it up in the hopes of my indiscretion going unnoticed
then in truly vindictive fashion, i remember i couldn’t resist going to her and vocally expressing my dissatisfaction
at being given a label as ugly and as ill#fitting as that when she didn’t know me from adam
and of course i expected that my moms immediate reaction would be that she was in complete agreement with me
but wouldn’t you know it she was mad that i had disobeyed a direct command she had given me, then she shot me a worried glance
that i wouldn’t understand for another decade and a half, but now that i do i find it hard not to laugh
i was 11 then, couldn’t comprehend just what i’d done and the irony of it all i couldn’t grasp
at the time i felt justified in my anger at how unjustly i had been painted a villain
i felt that my trust had been violated and trust me, if that poor teacher was unsure of my character before
in the weeks and months following that debacle, she was certainly given proof positive
as to whether or not her appraisal was spot on
in my efforts to meddling with what my therapist decided was best in regards to just what direction
to take the next several months in when handling and attempting to begin the treatment of my depression
i derailed any chance at achieving any genuine catharsis
and effectively prevented its progression well into my adolescence
a sentiment that was echoed in every session but i still never got the message
and for some years after as you all may know and remember well i lived as it only to seek out sweet vengeance
a lesson never learned, a leap in consciousness never taken
a dream ever#deterred, a sleep from which i’ve recently wakened
better late than never as far as my family concerned, i’m making
an honest attempt at growth from an uneven foundation

but, you gotta start somewhere right?

better late than never?

- puppit lyrics

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