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r. stevie moore - jessica sandwich lyrics

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rsm: hey, where did we get that record from?

ic: shut up! just came in today, uh, tk didn’t want me to let you have it. so he gave it to me, he didn’t wanna let you see it

fb: huh? say that again

ic: shut up!! just came in today! tk didn’t want me to let you see it!

jp: plintiff! and give the little girl what she asks for

rsm: and what, may i enquire, gives you the impression i’m a ‘she’?
fb: he might’ve seen your quim!

ic: terry? do, do you like us?

tkf: i only like ‘her’ (points to rsm)

rsm: hey, come on, you guys! how in the world could i have a voice like this if i were a girl? i mean, everytime it’s like…

fb: look, we cannot help but wonder when we see such a smooth genitalia!

jp: i always noticed it!

cb: come here, honey! let’s see what honky tonk angels are +really+ made of!

rsm: cut it out!!

ic: remember when i sported a beard?

fb: rub it on her!

rsm: stop it! just… leave… me… alone!!

ic: now, this boota’s really consistent, it reminds me of that maxwells incident. do you think anyone ever caught on to burt reynolds in the white house?

rsm: hey, hands off my pants!! you crazy???? (pause) look, i’ll prove it to ya! (reveals manhood) see? look at this thang!
tkf: it’s fake!

fb: maaan, that turns me off!

rsm: whadda you mean?

ic: hold it, hold it! mca records is here! everybody sing!

cb: 1+2+

all (in unison):
“she is a modern chickadee
with a hot dog and needle and thread
fashion plate lady of all dreams
i am not amused, i am not refused service
but, then, yet…
jessica sandwich
woe is me boota
west caldwell.”

- r stevie moore lyrics

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