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raccoon venom - i won't name this song (by myself) lyrics

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i drink by myself
even though i’ve got a partner and my friends aren’t that far away
i think about how excited i was to leave
now every time i go back i just wanna, just wanna stay

but i love the city
i could see myself stayin’ here for a while
it’s not perfect of course
i guess i was just in denial
that people would be different
in all the places that i’d go
but it just keeps feelin’ more like home

so i drink by myself
even though i live with my partner
and my friends are just an hour away
and i think about how excited i was to leave
now i can’t stop myself from thinkin’ bout
goin’ back
everyday

but i’m not here for me
i’m here for all the people who see
the good in me
that i don’t really see
i don’t wanna disappoint them
i just wanna make them happy
one day i hope to make a living
without waking up every day
just to hate myself
just to hate living
but the voices in my head keep tellin’ me:

“give up now. it’s probably never gonna happen. you’re a piece of shit. you’ll never amount to nothin’. and if think you’ll live your life in good spirit and good health you’re lyin’ to yourself”

- raccoon venom lyrics

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