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rachel bloom - historically accurate disney princess song lyrics

(song)
at sunset i wander through the village
glowing in the twilight and so quiet
well, it’s quiet ’cause most people died of a plague
caused by jealous witches

i wander through the village and i think
that my life is missing something dear
as i stop to rest and cough up blood, i wonder:
when will i find my prince?

i wander through the village and i notice
that everyone but me has found a love
there goes the blacksmith with his daughter/wife
ten years old and pregnant with her brother/son

i wander through the village sighing deeply
seeking guidance from the statue in the square
it’s a statue of christ adorned with thief hands
oh, when will i find my prince?

(spoken interlude)
oh look, everyone, it’s my friends from the forest, the jews. h-llo, jews! you know, i never did ask you: why do you live in the forest? oh, i see, to hide from people trying to k!ll you. well that’s very resourceful, my beaky little friends. tell me: have you ever had a dream that wouldn’t come true? oh, i see, your dream is that people won’t want to k!ll you. well, that’s definitely a dream that won’t come true! oh, goodbye, goodbye! jews

(song)
oh, if i found my prince
we’d have a wedding elegant and rare
we’d dine on kidney cream and horse v-g-n-
drink champagne and torture a bear

oh, if i found my prince
the castle would be filled with love and laughter
and he’d fill me with his seed, forcibly and rough
i’d give birth to a son and then die right after!

i wander through the village seeking answers
but love hasn’t given me a glimpse!
it isn’t in this shop or in this cart of baby corpses
oh, when will i find my prince?
when, hand jesus?!
oh, when will i find my prince?

- rachel bloom lyrics

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