random encounters - ganon claus: a zelda christmas carol lyrics
a time ago, and far away
there was a distant land!
and in it lived a handsome brute
a grouchy, greenish man!
he beat to death a gangly elf
and led the gerudo clan!
he was known as the dreaded ganon claus!
“oh, i know that story!”
“you do?”
“sure!”
old ganon claus had sacks of gold
he gave to those in need! (“he what?!”)
he’d ho+ho+ho across the snow
upon his n0ble steed!
+and then
in every town, he’d trample down+
+all those practicing greed, (“hey!”)
says the tale of the gracious ganon claus!
“that sounds ridiculous, and completely made up! and where’d you get that flugelh+rn?”
“bеats me!”
now ganon claus was pretty bad
his evil knеw no bounds! (“oh, dear!”)
+i heard he did much nicer things+
+like burn stuff to the ground! (“yeah! wait+”)
he k!lled off gorons, zoras
and that guy who goes around+
…and around… and around… and around…
“that guy kind of looks like brentalfloss…”
…and the world feared the wicked ganon claus!
there came a day when ganon claus
caused hyrule’s hope to fall!
he took the triforce, then proclaimed…
+”merry christmas to you all!” (“no, he didn’t!”)
put his rupees in charities
and gave his mom a call! (“mom?!”)
oh, that merry and caring ganon claus!
“no, no, that’s not how it went! you completely screwed up the whole song!”
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