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randy feltface - opening song lyrics

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opening song
that’s what this is
you thought it was a comedy, now it’s a musical
what the f+ck is this?

i was over there
now i’m right here
i’ve changed my clothes to signify that it’s a different year

cause this show happens over multiple timelines
like a tarantino film without the graphic homicides
and far fewer foot fetish moments
except for this one
check them out boys

opening song
written by me
a singing, dancing piece of sh+t
that you all paid to see

you got it wrong
it’s cabaret
sucked in bad if you thought this would make a good first date

coz this show is my godd+mn magnum opus
you made the choice to be here
so you better f+cking focus

and if you’d rather be at home with married at first sight
you get the h+ll out
there’ll be no refunds

terms and conditions
come on

when purchasing a ticket always review
the event and seat selection
no exchange or refund for misplaced tickets
or show content objections

subject to no conditions
consumer provisions
price including taxes

no badder tactic than backin’ out
you’re on crack if you drastically
underestimate the power
of the written code of practice

as a purple gen x cis man
with an income and a platform
statistically, i’m more likely
to instigate a sh+tstorm

but i’m also much more likely to escape without reproach
the system is still stacked my way
that’s why i think i can get away
with an opening song

opening song
that’s what this
it even has a key change
that’s a little hit or miss
opening song
right in your face
i couldn’t give a flying f+ck
about my own fanbase

i just wanted to sing an opening song
f+ck you

- randy feltface lyrics

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