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randy newman - intro iii (live) lyrics

[intro]
two other artists other than myself, i couldn’t help but notice
had hits with this song
uh, they did it very well, tom jones and, uh, joe c+cker
and one of the reasons was
i did a show with c+cker, i said, “what key you did it?”
i did it down here, like i said, i didn’t take this guy seriously
he’s like wimpy in a way, get on the chair, turn on the light, so what?
but, but, i said, “what key you doing it in?”
“better take off your coat”
it’s in a? no, he did it up here
“better take off your coat”
and i could of done it, i just didn’t think of it, you know?
in any case, speaking of, of myself and, and geriatric rock in genеral
as i have been doing at length
uh, you must have noticеd as i have that n0body is retiring
uh, in rock and roll
people who said, uh, at thirty, at twenty
that “i’m not doing this when i’m thirty, not doing”
they’re out there in walkers
and the stages are clogged with thick gray+haired people
and the young people trying to get on, you know, they can’t get on
there’s no careers
there’s more people, at least in the u.s., out in their seventies
there’s a band, they’re from here, “vital force,” i can’t think of the name
they had a farewell tour, i was here, in 1984, and they’re still out
but, but in any case
and one of the reasons is no one tells you when you’ve gotten sh+tty
no one, no one taps you on the shoulder and says
“you really, you know, your best days are behind you
you ought to hang ’em up”
so you keep going, i mean, n0body’s applauding at home
uh, and, and the people are coming
you know, the moody blues are doing better than they ever have, i think
they’re making more, uh, which is better than they ever have
and uh, so noticing this phenomenon, i’ve written a song
i need your help to sing along with it
uh, the name of the song is “i’m dead (but i don’t know it)”
and uh, orchestra, feel free, maybe you’ll get a double for it, we’ll pay you
the, uh, it’s called “i’m dead (but i don’t know it)”
and the chorus goes like this, i say
“i’m dead but i don’t know it”
and then you all would say
“he’s dead, he’s dead”
try that one time
“i’m dead but i don’t know it”
“he’s dead, he’s dead”
yeah, it doesn’t have to be so enthusiastic, you know?
i mean, it can be more fun, you know?
yeah, that’s right
“i’m dead but i don’t know”
“he’s dead, he’s dead”
that’s right, all too true
and uh, there’s a place in which you have the lead
where’s there a bridge that goes
“on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on”
like that, then you go
“he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead”
and i say, “but i don’t know it”
then one more thing
you should probably get paid a little yourselves for doing all this
at the very end it goes, “who would be so cruel to tell me so?”
and you all go, “you’re dead!”
and make that real mean kind of chipmunk rock and roll face, you know?
the way we’re all starting to look with our features growing together
those of us still in it

- randy newman lyrics

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