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rap contenders - uno lavoz vs woodman lyrics

[round 1 : woodman]
real talk, j’aurais préféré clasher en français
j’ai été -ssimilé par la francophonie au point d’oublier comment parler en anglais
quand dony m’a offert uno lavoz comme vous j’me suis dit “eh yo, c’est qui ?”
ensuite, un côté en moi s’est manifesté même si bien trop enfoui
soudainement j’me suis rappelé que j’avais déjà fait les kotd
les kotd ? mais qu’est-ce que je fous ici ?
i’m here cause they needed a vagabond to sneak a stash of chron in his carry on
a true man to expose a stan behind a mask, shall i carry on ?
majestic how they gave me a plane to ride and i didn’t pay a price
other than having to stay beside and endure the puerto rican cable guy
this a dude who acts dumb and dumber versus a bum who is spitting flames
i smoke weed while f-cking your mom, that’s fun with d-ck and jane
(i’m on my jim carrey sh-t. he’s a comedian)
my bars out of this world, send this man to the moon like sp-ce venturing
i’ll curb this b-tch when i roll through with more animals than ace ventura
i’ll leave him blatenly beaten, i’ll slay this comedian
and send his kid to get babysat by adrien peterson
i’m the ruthless type, bad luck like i roofed your dice
ghb in your bictches’ cup, i roofed your wife
act like you’re going to son me and i’ll lose this fight
but i’m already like your son : cause i’mma ruin your life
i’ll do his son vile
poison in his son’s vial
he’ll call the cops like a snitch
i’ll know what time it is soon as i see son dial
canibus bars !
i said, my notepad will rock your world, that’s a comit book
jaws get hooked, i stood face to face with a shark and stayed so calm it booked
i learn which guns to buy from reading comic books
he ain’t no stand-up guy so why is this comic booked ?
i said canibus bars !
on my lyrical miracle spiritual st–z
k!ll you with millions of syllables and little italy schemes
you’re as obscene as can be but even if mystique is a skeez
when she told you to “beat it” she didn’t mean it litterally
who’s gonna stop me ?
in my home we are only known for hockey
so with the blades i’m a pro
leave this hoe stretched out like he knows pilates
you ain’t no miyagi
you think you’re a ninja cause your flow is choppy
but you won’t be talking
when i shred you with the metal like oroku saki
rest in peace donatello
f-ck being seen with a star
i wasn’t trying to meet you
this a snuff fl1ck where the little b-tch gets pistol whipped with the 9mm
i’ll turn this hasbeen battler into a p-ssed date vegetable
i’ll shoot a clip in france
and turn this b-tch into the cannes film festival
facile !

[round 1 : uno lavoz]
i said yo, reb-ttal sh-t
my sh-t i could even slow it much faster
you came with gl-sses acting like canibus, well f-ck it
i guess i’mma have to start throwing punches like dizaster
you got nothing for this battle. paid zero
that’s why you ain’t got no cause
you was talking about my son
but you can’t have kids cause you ain’t got no b-lls
b-tch -ss f-ck outta here
your chin’s dirty as sh-t
whatever bullsh-t comes out of my mouth, you’d better say it’s good
you’d better play how a player should
cause if you act up, these hands will be around the neck in the woods like : welcome to the neighborhood
red dots all over him, i don’t care for those hickies
don’t stick me, you don’t get me ?
if not, i’ll f-ck around and have xxx (a raid ?) with the hammer like don’t jinx me
don’t get it ? it’s cool
your mom sucks d-ck for calling cards and green leggings
you’re looking at me like “huh ?”
all of a sudden then you want to scr-p
what ? you don’t f-ck with that ? man i’ll let that thunder clap
i said f-ck around and i’ll start chopping down wood
like a motherf-cking lumberjack
your grandma sells f-cking wooden d-cks
your name’s wood b-tch ?
i wish you wood b-tch
i ain’t gonna never stop. we’re battling here
why ? they barely understang anything that we’re about to drop
but yet you think you’re lovable
i know why we’re battling here :
cause your own country don’t f-ck with you
anyway, i never ain’t about to stop
i’ll k!ll your family in front of you and let wood watch
that’s what i call a grandfather clock
i said you’re a b-tch, someone i will not fear
i can see it on your face you’re scared and might even shed a tear
what ? you think you’re gonna get somme hypeoff of me, like you gonna become top tier ?
sorry woody, but this buzz ain’t gonna happen cause for you this gonna be a light year

[round 2 : woodman]
yo don’t want no drama, wussy
you said my chin’s dirty ?
yeah, from diving head first in your mama’s p-ssy
your mama thinks she’s a hustler
cause she tries to sell used acrylic nails back to the salon
she’s always fiending for my pipe
that’s why i cracked her in the jaw
i’m latrell with a gun
shooting from long range on a murderous spree
graffiti on the sidewalk, that’s the word on the street
b-tch, you battling in vein, get outlined if you keep babbling like a dame
you better can it or i’ll leave you rattled when i spray
maytag, product is sold, and i always hold a toaster
i said your mom is in a lesbian streetgang…
(he’s instragraming this sh-t cause my bars are harder than his)
maytag, product is sold, and i always hold a toaster
i said your mom is in a lesbian streetgang called la chocha nostra
your mom’s p-ssy smells like tuna tostadas
in her bedroom, you’d hear voices more than uno dos lavoz
i’mma hit you with the one two, that’s the uno dos lavoz
i’m so dope, you’ll comatose with just uno dose, lavoz
my pengame ain’t something you teach, i got that k!ller quill
your pengame puts us to sleep you got that seroquel
i got so many guns and i don’t give a f-ck where the permit’s at
english cigarette, i’mma burn this f-g
upgrade my bullets to raise the heat, no thermostat
i’m always looking for bigger sh-lls like a hermit crab
h0m-, check, i’m fly with the weapons like robotech
guns the size of jd, so loud they’ll leave you so so deaf
i got giant black arms : that’s maadou
kick in your door and p-ss on your floor, that’s bathroom
my ink will leave you permantly scarred, that’s tattoo
you mad dude ? cause your punch game’s weak : that’s shaq fu
this b-tch queer about to get vicked here and ain’t sh-t fair dude
woodman, i keep lowering the piff fares fool
so i’ll need extra figures for your ransom, hope they’re prepared to
pay to get you back with more 0’s than a ric flair whoo
that’s a lot of o’s man, that’s a lot of o’s
and if you got funds in different accounts, i’ll rob him at them banks
luis mendoza training, make him slip with the cans
fulton reed, 44 on your back if you wanna try your luck
knucklepucks from every direction might he duck
fiends, triple d-ck for that charlie, i live the con way
leave your chick bashed bro and tell her that p-ssy the bomb bae
actin catty like julie gaffney’s who she’s trying to be
i make her throw that v-g-n- in the air, that’s the flying v !
i said your mom… she’s a b-tch man
your mom used to look like misses december
now she’s a war amp’, disfigured and severed
tlc, run dmc, are just some sh-ts i can mention
cause similar to them, your mom is missing a member

[round 2 : uno lavoz]
i see you’re shaking all over the place
sweat going through your pores
you only talking about my mom, cause you know i f-cked yours
(only cause they can understand)
i said i’m one of the best
i’m looking at your chest, speaking of chess ?
for acting f’d up i’ll leave you f down
like the letters on your chest
(hey he get it)
i said yo, i’m way better bro, compared to you
i’ll leave you with a hole in the middle, just like the letter o
cause this round, i got a bucket full of bad bars and i’m about to let them go
and i’mma start dumping the sh-t on the wood like a survivor episode
cause people take sh-ts in the woods in a survivor episode
you mom wear skinny jeans in the summer time
b-tch sells muslim oils to christians when she’s wanna grind
i don’t understand the way you stood man
ever since i came up in this game i let that wood blam
and ever since i came in your face that chain i took man
i know why you name is woodman
cause the only way you got to this spot
is by sucking his c-ck and buffing that wood, man
you actually think you deserve a battle with me ?
f-ck no !
i said i’m puerto rican i’ll grab a blade and start to cut throats
ever since i met you in this game i was like “what’s up bro ?”
(you ain’t need a punch like “wooo !” ?)
well you’ll get knocked out like serious jones when he said that sh-t in summer madness
so what’s up hoe ?
i remembered yourself in your first battle
sike i lied b-tch i never saw none of you sh-t
probably won’t ever watch this… and i’m in it
motherf-cker i’ll rap till i’m finish
cause i got a knife that’ll saw something like a eye witness, goodbye b-tches
see, “do or die”, after that battle you gonna commit suicide
i got a gun that’ll put 3 o’s in his head
like what you’re losing by
for real, if you really think of something. like if you used the knives
your mom be jerking my d-ck off
i’ll be nailing her hands, that’s crucified
now this is something that i have to get
you try to prove you’re not racist
you say a lot of racist sh-t but your hype man is black as sh-t
i said i’m about to re-up
f-ck scottie i’ll get him beamed up
i got that sh-t when i pull it out of my pocket, these nuts

[round 3 : woodman]
it’s not 1-1 it’s 2-0
after this battle, me and your anorexic mom are going to cuddle
i would’ve reb-tted something in your verse, but there was nothing worth a reb-ttal
i smoke the most potent ganja
this man’s poems are the poorest stanzas
he’ll get taxed and see who’s the boss, no tony danza
you’re a horrid actor
who’s dialog’s the most boring chatter
i’ll rob your deniro, this raging bull gonna leave a tourist trampled
doppleganger, extort and shank you in this foreign land
while i tour and throw your cash at wh0r-s and gorgeous dancers
i’ll own this prankster and turn his kid into an orphan after
you’re the reason they made a pill for the morning after
i’m gonna catch you, shang tsung, your soul i’ll capture
leave you shocked like thor when i tote the hammer
i’m not a mechanic but i always hold a ratchet
my guns smokes so much it’s gonna croak from cancer
you’re an -ssh0l-, i’ll leave you chocked and mangled
broke and fractured, the chrome will clap you, you dome will shatter
or we can box until i reduce your skull bones to fragments
i’m picture perfect with the hands like george costanza
i’m a nerd with a laser on his gun. that’s a techie with a beam
this is the pettiest of thieves versus a g*nius with the deadliest of schemes
b-tch, you itch to run sh-t but forever you gonna flee
your mom looks like loe pesci in a weave
and your mom, she’s a skeeza, a fiend for tricking
that b-tch blows more sax than lisa simpson
that hoe is ravaged, she smells like moldy cabbage
she has a torturous rack like lex luger that left me with a totaled package
your mom’s t–th rattle. it’s like morse code it’s true
f-ck the popo there’s no telling what the 44 will do
expose you lack of heart, rip your torso in two
you battled a shoe but dude it had more soul than you
keep thinking you’ll prosper, i’m big t with the boom blakka
you just stepped in a bear trap, that’s what i call a foot locker
he thinks that he gonna get pretty women thanks to his rich gear
but when it comes to driving, manuel can’t even switch gears
wood stays plotting, deeply rooted, i stick to the plans
your name is manuel but you can’t do sh-t with your hands
you’re the shook type, cause your mom is not a diligent person
like suge knight she is a fat b-tch who goes to prison on purpose
and she instilled her son with b-tch-ssness so if fits are swung in a fight
he’s the type to hit and run
your mom is so ugly, she’s f-cking ugly
she’s so f-cking ugly, that we call her fugly
see that’s his type of sh-t
your mom is an old earth, i was mounting the shrew
this boy met world and she drank from my fountain of youth
without me, she wandered years now your mother is dead
p-ss on her grave, i’ve been savage like the brother of fred
so thanks paris, ce fut un plaisir d’avoir clash and represent
vous avez rien compris but this will be a cl-ssic on the net
in retrospect’ it was an honor to have battled with a vet
yeah ? well f-ck you too then
j’suis seulement ici pour voir maadou et wojtek !
(dig the sh-t, dig the sh-t)
3-0 body

[round 3 : uno lavoz]
you know what ?
i like the way you speak dude
since we’re in paris, i’mma speak french to
it’s not gonna be good though
omelette du fromage
that’s it
comment ça va ?
i’m learning !
ça va bien ?
where is your girlfriend ? voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ?
pretty good, right ?
the moral of this round is that you’re so robotic you’re almost like a cyborg
we have nothing in common, as far as levels, writing sk!lls, funny jokes, anything
so why do i need to write more ?
you think cause i came up here and f-cking around
that all of a sudden that i’m the least of your opponents then i gotta deny my spot
but bro, you paid for this, you didn’t earn it
so why do you deserve this spot ?
see me, i paid for my own flights
did a lot of sh-t when i started
then i came up battle who i needed to get up regardless
i ain’t suck n0body’s d-ck, i ain’t put money in no ones hand
i did everything on myself, like a motherf-cking man
so why do i need to write for you ?
why do you demand my respect ?
i should be battling you ! cause you’re the one who wrote me the check
but yet you think you’re something. you’re not, motherf-cker
thats why we’re battling here and not king of the dot, motherf-cker
you had to get on a flight, pay for your own hotel
and you made that i came here f-cking around
b-tch o well
but if you all gave me someone with a real rep
i promise y’all i would have gave y’all more
but instead you gave me this piece of sh-t -ss
bum -ss, marked tatoo -ss, blatant -ss wh0r-
i said but for real when it comes to this xxx man i had to trip
i’ll f-ck around and make you flip like gymnastics b-tch
cause i wanna see if wood box like a casket b-tch
i said for real 9 blaming
go to your ribs and start stabbing
i’m the boss and i f-ck around and fire wood like we going camping
i’ll crack your head open with a bottle of snapple
put that 12 gauge to your head and knock out your adam’s apple
your mom suck d-cks for snapples and adam’s apples
she gets that eve’s treatment
weird beans, smoking that green lion
i said i’ll f-ck around and dump your head in the water
i’ll leave you baptized
i got a gun that size
p-ss me off and they gonna have to hold me back like that guy
but on some real sh-t though
i really do f-ck with you
thanks for having me out bro
and france, i really do am in love with you

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