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raw rap relationship - somno/nycto/pluviophilia lyrics

[verse 1: tewo]

(somno)
the voice in my head says “why are you feeling that?
why don’t you nurture your bed sores, you somnophiliac?”
how did this start?
i was a walking interpretation of art
right before i fell apart
it was about three weeks ago, i crossed sidney wrong
almost put a gun to the temple of my ego
i almost k!lled tewo, this time forever
in a grasping leap of faith hoping to no longer be feeble
‘cause all i ever wanted since birth was to be loved
and to be considered beautiful
but my beauty was drugged
and the times i fell in love
love showed me what it becomes
when you let it turn to resentment, instead of overcome
all the trials that go with it
and then i was gifted an abundance of the substance
to the point of no limits
so i did it, i fell in love
and not just puppy love
every lord knows i loved her like i’ve never loved someone
but it’s f-cking done, something i came to terms with
long ago, but it’s part of the story as you observe it
and even though i was used
i found somebody new
and after her i’ll never say men can’t be sexually abused
but i think i’ve bounced back
in fact i realized, it really only happened because i allowed that
my empathy is strong, i’ve had my share of suicidal women
come to think of it, i see that’s the only kind i’ve been with
so you can imagine all the things i did that went unnoticed
in the face of adversity i was standing stoic
but i was told my love wasn’t needed there so i sat and wrote it
all up inside the seams of this paper ‘cause here i am a poet
soul matrimony is what i’ve been looking for
but who would think to find so much behind a crooked door?
but love hides in unnoticeable places
that’s when i learned something about myself that shook my core

[verse 2: mosi]

(nycto)
worthless, is what i feel almost everyday
i look at my reflection, i cannot recognize my face
how can an angel even love this ugly mug
who only shrugs when mainly melancholy
but is happy on some drugs
always shoves the ones who love and care for him most away
as defense mechanisms because he struggles with what he says
luna, this your child, please mama come and help me
‘cause the way that i’ve been living, i -ssure you isn’t healthy
appetite decreasing and i’m feeling really faint
i hope by now you motherf-ckers recognize i’m not a saint
vibrations getting distant ‘cause i’m bottled with this hate
because i harbor all my past and can’t let go of my mistakes
my memory is vivid so it’s hard for me to forget
and my insecurities make it harder for me to move through shit
i’m my biggest critic, i admit it, i want perfection
and i hate to share my grief, i keep it buried with suppression
no depression in a minute, get occasional mood swings
but my mood it grows darker making it harder for me to do things
my mind is corybantic and i need some chiropractic healing
‘cause the cross wore out my back my skin has pyroclastic feeling
every night and day i’m dreamin’
bout what i could be, i’m thinkin’
bout how i’ll live and die and the holy ghost i am seein’
visions of this nigga dying from diseases deeply sinkin’
drowning quickly in a vast ocean of tears so do we leave him?
or retrieve him, i am seein’ lacerated wounds, he bleedin’
heavenly, heavenly folk just leave me alone to rot
black beasts feast, hangin’ in like judas iscariot
and i always wonder if there is a lot of things wrong with me
and i just don’t know or notice so i try to be normal
but then i’m losing my focus and i forget to be myself
and see myself how everybody sees me
so now i’m leavin’, to visit all of my demons
because they love me without reason and i’m somewhat comforted
they occupy my attention so i ignore the other shit
i think about the government, i think about these shootings
think about life and suicide as a suitable solution
is what i feel real? ‘cause i’m not even sure
some people think they better then i feel miniature
it is hard to be humble sometimes, when i’m feeling heated
when i really wanna rumble and fight whoever f-ckin’ need it
fantasizing death in hypothetical situations
i know will never happen but i’m patiently waiting to be taken
i feel like everybody’s life i do not benefit
they tell me to stop, it’s not my fault that i’m super sensitive
i cannot please my girl, and i’m distant from my brothers
even worse, i barely talk to and grow further from my mother
around the fall and winter
i grow dark and start to wither
became bitter, got lost and i start to really reconsider
everything from music to relations to my job
to my health to religion, so tell me am i f-cking wrong?
to think that i’m a god or ‘cause i simply have these feelings
i know they’re negative, but i really truly feel ‘em
feelin’ like a villain but i’m out to get myself
wanna wrap a rope around my neck and hand till i’m in hell
cut my chest open and you’ll see that my heart is black
this pain that i have, it feels just like a heart attack

[verse 3: tewo]

fast forward to present day
and i’m forever changed
i’m learning things i always knew but couldn’t see yesterday
i think it was about around the time i tried chemicals
i started to realize i’ve always been bisexual
but it’s hard
i don’t know how those close will react
so i kept it secret for so long which was holding me back
but never again will i hold myself to a lower standard
if my mind is confused i know that my heart will hold the answers
my cellar door is open after years of barely budging
if i’m still afraid now, then all the times i was scared mean nothing
i persevere for those who were there for me a year ago
when all i had was a black heart, a twisted mind, and a tearful soul
my love is stronger even though my body’s weaker
i’m a tiny step closer to drifting off in the ether
the non-believer in me is finding his faith again
instead of turning my back on my people i’ve been facing them
i part the pacific in half, and walk past the radiation
never looking back on the prison masquerading as a nation
this is my retaliation for all the times i was forced to keep emotions bottled up
just to feed your validation
but i’m done, i’m sorry for my negative thoughts
i’ve reached a bridge in my journey that only the penitent cross
i’ve k!lled all my expectations in attempts at preventing a loss
but with death of expectations there is much more to be lost
so i leap into my risks, to free me from my sins
of the past, that i let out after bleeding from my wrist
now i use all five senses but i’m seeing with my sixth
now my aura hordes off demons who’ve been feeding off my sins
i lay awake with gods, while i sleep in with my nymphs
and every song that i create is like a puzzle piece or glimpse
into my soul, i’m finally ready to show it
i’m finally ready to burst my seams at any moment
this is me, world
f-ck you if you don’t like it
i’ve finally admitted all the dark within my brightness
this here is the asterisk for all i’ve done that’s blasphemous
i’ve finally accepted that i’m half monk and half anarchist
i’ll give you my heart
and i will hand over my soul if you deserve it
but if you don’t you only get my -ss to kiss
my existence is a book for you to read
until next time, world
i’ll trap my soul inside this amethyst

(pluvio)

- raw rap relationship lyrics

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