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rayofclay - october rayaan lyrics

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first verse

last night woke me this morning
my eyes don’t listen anymore
my lids don’t fall when i need it most
my tears don’t fall when my windows need the coat

accustomed to the sight of the floor
i can’t get them off, i can’t turn this off
i try rewind my demise
but in my mind i constantly revise
chorus

and every night i find
i really meant that eyes line
the sh+ll of myself
i can’t help myself, myself

second verse

she showed me how it felt
ignorance is bliss, and i’d bliss in vast amounts
then most thoughts became her sound
and every other totalled a number i could count

now she’s shown what i’ve felt
loneliness the name, not everyone can be at fault
i’ve only me to blame
i’ve realized, bliss is best

chorus

and every night i find
i really meant that eyes line
i can’t save myself
there’s no one to help
third verse

my insignificance eating the best of me
page after page i ruminate
my heart, feet sink, overthink in ink
to no one’s benefit

running out friends, my best friend’s my pen
i, know no one, hence my end
broke your windows, made a prayer
i’m atheist, when you’re not there

running out of reasons to, stay awake, i
know now they’ll never reciprocate
when i’m done, writing this
why should i, stay awake?

tossing and turning, pretending to fall asleep
uncle hugh over “you, you, you left me”
you’ve taught me october’s beautifully lonely, but
stop calling october “november” “december”

i’m the reason why i feel sh+t all the time, no
explanations, my mind’s inclination, to
believe i deserve this
i’m a bad person
that’s why n0body
talks to me, meets my eyes

- rayofclay lyrics

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