recd - don't hug me i'm scared - streaming lyrics
[intro: red guy]
oh, boy. i wonder what i’ll do this computer day
[twitch]
hey, pal! looks like you’re trying to have a stream!
[red guy]
what, no. i haven’t decided what to do yet
[twitch]
ha! that’s silly! streamers don’t get to decide what they do!
here! let me fill you in!
[verse 1: twitch and red guy]
do you wanna be famous?
do you wanna be big?
sure, i guess
do you wanna be a household name like ninja or ludwig?
who is that, exactly?
have i got the deal for you
you only have to stream directly to
twitch! a+that’s me!
[verse 2: twitch and red guy]
the number 1 site for gaming and me
twitch! a+that’s you!
just sign a little contract and you’rе part of us, too
how do i get it?
what should i say?
just hit the live b+tton, and you’rе well on your way!
but there’s no one watching
that’s just fine, you’re in the 88% still on the grind!
[verse 3: twitch and red guy]
pick a game, any game, not that game!
so much you can play
now stream it for an hour, two, or three, or four, or a day!
there’s still no one coming
yup!
this seems really boring
look! a viewer! now’s your chance!
do a hot tub, strip poker, kitten cam, or dance!
i thought i was gaming
no, no one wants that!
you gotta put on a show if you want bits in your pants!
bits?
yes! that’s currency!
someone gave me a bit!
and they gave one for me!
what? what did you do to earn it?
well, i’m twitch!
that doesn’t answer my question+
[verse 4: twitch and red guy]
congratulations, my friend!
you’ve gotten a sub! a gifted sub!
i’ll take half of that, too!
you’re almost in the club!
what do you mean? it’s only been a minute
no! it’s been 7 months!
time sure flies when you’re having fun!
i’m not having fun!
then why’d you apply? for a partnership?
i didn’t apply for a+
it’s ok, pal! just try again!
we’ll keep tabs on your streams and your viewers and then
your life will become but a show that you play for a million strangers who live far away!
and your love for your games will fade into your job
and you’ll stream such long hours, you become a slob!
and your soul will turn grey, but you’ll keep up your smile
knowing all the while we’ve destroyed your lifestyle
and your bones will go brittle, your t++th rotting through from the garbage your sponsors inject into you
and you’ll beg for support when you’re reaching your end
but you only have viewers, not family or friends
[outro: twitch and red guy]
and that’s twitch!
you know, i think i’ll just stream on youtube
no!
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