recd - warioware with the musical lyrics
wario:
waaah…
all my adventures keep on ending in loss
these ancient treasures don’t pay back my sunk costs
wario needs riches but he’s in a schism
wait..i could get rich through captialism!
wa+ha!
games make cash
so i’ll make lots of them and lotsa money also in a flash!
the best way
is to find a buncha chumps i can overwork and underpay!
i’ll use friends!
they won’t know how to negotiate for stock dividends!
i’ll need all ‘o them
so i’ll call them…
+ring+
hey, jimmy! mona! 9+volt! the other ones! wanna make good money makin games for wario?
all: no!
wario: perfect! you’re hired. i’ll keep the good money
jimmy: that’s not what we+
wario: you start working tomorrow when wario gets up. don’t be late!
mona: but how will we+
wario: bye+bye
wario:
wario’s work is play!
i can see the kids begging their moms all day
“moooom! buy me warioware!”
driven to despair
they drive to their local store
pleading “i can’t take no more!”
give me that dumb game!”
and i’ll be to blame, but what should the game be?
guess it won’t matter as long as it stars me!
gotta pick up a sock and take out the trash…
wait! that’s it! that’s how the game’ll make cash!
my buddies
love to do all of my difficult and dirty work for me
so i’ll make
everyone who plays my game make that beautiful mistake!
wario’s chores
in a simulated form finally can be all yours!
so try it
now buy it!
waaa+hahahahahaaaaa!
9+volt: hey, wario! i finished my games!
jimmy: got em, baby!
mona: me too!
everyone else: us too!
wario: wanderful! now hand em over!
eh? what’re these for? game boy advance? nes? virtual boy?!?!?!
mona: you never told us what to program for, so…
9+volt: we picked our favorites!
wario: who picked the virtual boy?!?!?!
(everyone stands aside to reveal dr. crygor, who takes off his helmet to reveal
it has secretly been a virtual boy this whole time)
crygor: what did you expect? i’m always wearing one
wario: waaah! ima gonna go cuckoo crazy porting all of these….i gotta get more money
to pay someone else to do it…but how…wait! of course!
endscreen:
hey! this channel’s a mine now, so win some wariogreen!
it’s super real and not a money making scheme!
just send all of your gold coins to wario
then i’ll rob you blind+er, i mean, double your dough!
+recd comes back with jevil and furret+
wah! i was totally joking about all that “stealing your youtube channel” stuff, beardy. you can have it back
recd: sounds good. just gonna take one more preventative measure
wario: preventative…measure?
recd: furret, use therapy beam
furret: ok! time to bring out the good in you!
wario: wah?! good?!
+furret uses the beam+
wario: nooo! my greed! my avarice! my third character trait i totally haaave!
…huh? everything feels the same. haha! therapy doesn’t work on evil people who don’t want help!
recd: oh. i guess we’ll use your devilsknife then instead, jevil
jevil: +excited noises+
wario: therapy works on evil people! wario is a changed man! bye+bye. waaaaaaaaaaaa!
jevil: aww, i was lookin’ forward to playin’ with him…
recd: well, at least we got the channel back
(zoomed in obvious wink)
recd: and now, if you guys will excuse me…
(the others leave, regular outro plays)
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