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recoil - want lyrics

i want to know how it will end.
i want to be sure of what it will cost.
i want to strangle the stars for all they promised me.
i want you to call me on your drug phone.
i want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later.

i want to be there when you learn the cost of desire.
i want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win.
i want the name of the ruiner.
i want matches in case i have to suddenly burn.
i want you to know that being kind is overrated.
i want to write my secret across your sky.
i want to watch you lose control.
i want to watch you lose.

i want to know exactly what it’s going to take.
i want to see you insert yourself into glory.
i want your touches to scar me so i’ll know where you’ve been.
i want you to watch when i go down in flames.
i want a list of atrocities done in your name.
i want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back.

i want to remember when my nightmares were clearer.
i want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open.
i want to taste my own kind.
i want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it’s different on this side.
i want you to come on strong.
i want to leave you out in the cold.
i want the exact same thing, but different.
i want some soft drugs… some soft soft drugs.
i want to throw you.
i want you to know i know.
i want to know if you read me.
i want to swing with my eyes shut and see what i hit.
i want to know just how much you hate me so i can predict what you’ll do.
i want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted.
i want a controlling interest.
i want to be somewhere beautiful when i die.
i want to be your secret hater.
i want to stop destroying you but i can’t.
and i want and i want and i want and i will always be hungry
and i want
and i want
and i want…

- recoil lyrics

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