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red sovine - the gear jammer and the hobo lyrics

the highways that wind and wander ‘cross this lonesome land
sure can get weary sometimes
‘specially when you get a flat on the ol’ diesel

i was barrellin’ down old 77 one day
and i’d just passed a hobo who’d given me the thumb
and i gave him the thumb back and kept goin’
and, wouldn’t you know it
about a quarter of a mile further i pulled up on the shoulder
with a flat on the right rear
and, as i stood there, lookin’ at it, shakin’ my head
utterin’ some profane syllables
the hobo walked up and said to me

have a flat?
no thanks, i got one
it ain’t too bad, it’s only flat on the bottom

oh brother, you could tell this guy’d been outta circulation for a long time

what you gonna do about it?
well, i was just gonna look for a man to help me fix it
good, i’ll help you … look for him
how ’bout you?
yeah, how ’bout me?
well, i mean, you ’bout you givin’ me a hand?
oh, i’d like to help you ol’ buddy, but i’m too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work
and too lazy
well, that might fit in there someplace
well, thanks a lot, i’ll fix it myself
and i’ll supervise the job
uh, say, ol’ buddy, how about givin’ me a dime for a piece of cake?
well, if that don’t beat all! and it’s cake you want?
well, today’s my birthday
alright, help me fix this flat and i’ll buy you a full dinner
okay, you got a deal, but uh, let me see the menu first

look buster, you know hard work won’t k!ll you
i don’t know, i lost several wives that way
come on now, you look strong enough to work
and you look handsome enough to be a movie star, but i see you’re pushin’ this ol’ diesel
ah, surely you must have done some work
oh yeah, i work now and then
well, whaddya do?
this and that
whereabouts?
here and there
i see
now, when you gonna give me that dime?
oh, sooner or later

you can kid me if you wanna, but i’ll tell you one thing … i wouldn’t change places with a guy that had a million bucks
how about five million?
not even five million
how about ten million?
not even … well now, that’s different, you’re talkin’ real dough
now looka here, you no+good, mangy, knock+kneed, bowlegged, bald+headed, two+bit hobo
who’re you callin’ … bow+legged?
look, you’re gonna help me fix this flat, or i’m gonna break your …
careful chum, you’ll bend the suit
now, for the last time, are you or ain’tcha?
you get so excited! okay, i’ll help you
lemme take a look at that tire
hmm, just as i thought, that ain’t no blowout, just a slow leak
hand me that tire+pump

and friends, if i hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, i wouldn’t have believed it
that tramp took that pump, and, with one hand, mind you
pumped that big tire full of air in no time
well, whaddya know! no flat

pardner, i wanna thank you
hop in the cab, and the next stop we make, i’ll buy you the biggest steak, and the best cake they’ve got in the house
sounds like a winner

just one thing, though
i noticed you only used one hand on that tire pump … how come?
oh, i don’t know, ‘cept uh, this arm’s broke
broke?
just a little bit
oh, i’m sorry ol’ buddy, how did it happen?
well, it was like this
i got ahold of this copy of the playboy magazine
yeah
and i thought it was a sears and roebuck catalogue
go on
and i broke my arm fillin’ out order blanks
oh no, come on, let’s hit the road

- red sovine lyrics

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