redemption - the fullness of time: ii. despair lyrics
[i. rage:]
struck down by the persons that i trusted
robbed of dignity and left for dead
i can feel unmeasurable anger building in me
emptiness and rage begin to burn inside my head
once i was a person withoug malice
once my heart bled red instead of black
friends with one hand held behind their backs carried knives
didn’t see the blades ’till tehy were buried in my back
sleep with one eye open
knowing that i’m watching you
listen for my footsteps on every darkened street
like a call for help unanswered
you can scream but no one hears your voice
no one there to save you
as i take my just revenge
i can hear your laughter
i can see you think you’ve won
but i don’t know how you live
with no remorse for waht you have done
you claimed you were my friend
all the while you planned to murder me
you claimed that i imagined all the things you’d done to me
you’ll pay for being so destructive
youll beg for comp-ssion
but i’ve nothing left to give
[ii. despair:]
left now
alone with your betrayal
there’s no way to feel secure
anymore
broken
crushed in soul and spirit
with no way to set things right again
gone
you have stolen everything i ever had
and i’m left with nothing more than pain
and i know i’ll never trust the way taht i once did
you have taken all my dreams
and turned them to ashes in my mouth
starving
searching for some comfort
left to choke on my despair
blinded
my faith and friendship shattered
and my life beyond repair
[iii. release:]
lying here surrounded
by the pieces of my life
would it all be easier
if i lay be down to die
dreams piled high
on the back of this broken man
is this all? born to fall?
or to rise again?
so much pain and disillusionment
everything i once felt sure about
we’re all lost if we don’t know
it’s all a game that we are playing
the motions of all our counterparts
a piece of sinsiter scheme
the puppet that’s broken has reason to smile
they can no longer force him to dance on their strings
why shrug off the chains? if you wrap them about
you’ll be sunk to the bottom and drowning
the clockwork behind their smiles
wound by hands that were made to harm
just release yourself
cause they can’t rape the willing
or take waht you have if there’s nothing else
tired of life and filled with despair
and covered with blood from the crosses i bear
but i’m still standing
should i make myself crawl?
seems so counter to our nature
accepting with grace the things we can’t change
but when all’s said and done and you’re wronged and deceived
then it matters tha most what you choose to believe
should i fight against fate
or should i just lay down and die?
the puppet that’s broken has reason to smile
but the strings can’t control you if you walk away
no more tears of disillusionment
i’l be a puppet no longer
the hands that i thought had held me
the clockwork behind their smiles
they’ll not have control over me
i’ll stand up and leave them behind
just release yourself
cause they can’t rape the willing
or take what you have if there’s nothing else
tired of life and filled with despair
and covered with blood from the crosses i bear
but i’m still standing
should i make myself crawl?
just release yourelf
when you’re wounded by no one else
rise above pain, most past my despair
and put down the cross that i’ve made myself bear
now i’m still standing
and i’m not gonna crawl
[iv. transcendence:]
now
the smoke finally cleared
and i can see the wreckagae of my past that lies about me
now
it’s all become so clear
and i have learned the
truth behind the lies and seen the lies within the truth
everythng in context finally makes sense
i see the paths i walked
some i paved myself
some where i went gladly
some against my will
i
can leave behind the fear and doubt
and cast aside the shackles and the chains
of flawed -ssumptions i learned as a child
i can’t let them distract me
so i’m putting aside the memories
of the things i never had but thought i wnated
now
my notions of what makes relationships have a new light
i have gained an understanding
no more false facades
covering my feelings
preventing a connection
i’ve been spending my whole life pursuoing those who built this cell
lamenting all the hateful things that happened to me
never thought to look at how i might have played a part in who i am
or what it means to lose the game before it starts
now i know that i cannot turn back and change the past
and that the only choice to save myself
is changing what i carry from it
everything i did to myself
everything that’s been done to me
i’ll turn my back on that and walk away
and left with only me
at last i see the answer and what i need to be
letting go
i destroy my sh-ll
embrace my heart
and free myself
the point of the search, may not be the answer
the value of a want, is not always a need
still i stand, i’m not going to crawl
now i know, i’ve got to believe
once i was a person without malice
once my heart bled red instead of black
openness and introspection now sho me the way
to reclaim all i’ve lost and take it back
you may have taken everything i ever had
but you cannot take my future
just release yourself
all i was and
all that i’ll ever be
finally are integrated
and i am whole again
now i know the reason for the suffering
i’m a better person for having known the pain
a better person having overcome the pain
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