reesha dyer - the counterfeit bridegroom lyrics
come all ye young frol!cksome jilts of the town
whose trade like yourselves is uncertain
since whoring and other professions goes down
i’ll show you new way to good fortune
cheer up your hearts, be merry prepare
execute a little preamble
i’ll sing you a song if you have not a care
shall give you the thorough-go-nimble
a lady well sk!lled in intrigues of the town
reduced to a slender condition
who liv’d by the trade of shove-up-and-go-down
which has so long time been in fashion
but money’s so scarce, and taxes so grand
poor cully has grown quite unable
to pay half a crown for a bit of his cat
or put up his nag in the stable
resolving at last some new measures to try
to raise up her fortune to riches
she lays her profession and petticoats by, and boldly she puts on the breeches
her carriage so pleasing and full of air
her talk so delightful and witty
in masculine habit she now does appear
as g-y as a beau in the city
she takes n0ble lodgings sets up for an heir
and p-ssed for the same, of a certain
she baits with delusion her amorous snare
desiring to bring in some fortune
a cunning old miser, full of design
being blessed with a pretty young daughter
with whom our young heir did his project begin
and carefully manage the matter
the father being eager to make up the match
proposing a very good portion
of money and plate which the miserly wretch
had got by his cursed extortion
the lovers themselves, did quickly agree
the father was also consenting
expecting his daughter a lady should be
and he without cause of repenting
the day was declared to consummate the match
with joy to the innocent creature
the miser being greedy and busy to catch
so hopeful a prize for his daughter
the father provided plentiful feast
in grandeur they were to be wedded
the portion was paid but the cream of the thing
was what they did when they were wedded
the bridegroom had prudently got a sheep’s gut
blown up very stiff as a bladder
but what she did with it or where it was put
i’ll leave you good folks to consider
the innocent bride, no difference knew
and seemed to be greatly delighted
but ladies i’ll warrant there’s none among you
that would be so easily cheated
now it’s at this point that my tale i must end
my sources can take me no further
but for all our sakes i suggest we pretend
the lovers lived happy e’er after
the bride she did find, her lad was a l-ss
and she spoke to her, slow and steady
i’ve love for your brains and your smile and your laugh
not whether you’re john or a jenny
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