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reginald pikedevant - just glue some gears on it (and call it steampunk) lyrics

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as i read the gazette to catch up on the news
some cl-ssified adverts i chanced to peruse
when i saw a category called “steampunk”
i turned to it eagerly, but left in a funk
for i quite enjoy the steampunk aesthetic
but what i beheld there was rather pathetic!
these intrepid online auctioneers
had just taken modern objects and stuck on some gears!
it’s simply not cricket!
it shouldn’t be done!
but it’s clear how their thoughts had run:

[chorus]
just glue some gears on it, and call it steampunk;
that’s the trendy fashion nowadays!
a copper-painted chunk of some nineteen-eighties junk
will fetch a pretty penny on ebay!

but it got even worse than that, i’m afraid:
and as i went on, i became more dismayed;
for they often didn’t modify the things they wanted me to buy
heavens to besty!
they’ll end up on regretsy!
steampunk is more than a mere mode of dress
or decoration, so it brings me some distress
to see a metal cicada described with that name
or a teacup
a mood ring
a silver gilt frame
gluing on gears at least takes effort;
this is sloth of the worst sort!

[chorus]
just glue some gears on it, and call it steampunk;
that’s the trendy fashion nowadays!
a copper-painted chunk of some nineteen-eighties junk
will fetch a pretty penny on ebay!

“steampunk” refers to a type of science fiction
about alternate pasts (not future prediction)
often set in victorian britain
but the history of technology has been rewritten
so put a bit of thought into your designs!
use leather and br-ss, nineteenth century lines!
“retro-futuristic” is a good explanation;
blend antique reality with imagination
but calling things “steampunk” to try to sound “cool”
makes you look like a bl–dy fool!

[chorus]
just glue some gears on it, and call it steampunk;
that’s the trendy fashion nowadays!
a copper-painted chunk of some nineteen-eighties junk
will fetch a pretty penny on ebay!

gauges and rivets, copper tubing and gl-ss
lend a steampunk creation a real touch of cl-ss
gears are appropriate to introduce
if they look like they have a legitimate use
although nixie tubes are undeniably splendid
they date from long after the age of steam ended
(pity, really; i just love nixie tubes.)
anyway, i hope you’ve comprehended
so use the word “steampunk” correctly, old chap
and don’t use it to refer to cr-p!

[chorus]
just glue some gears on it, and call it steampunk;
that’s the trendy fashion nowadays!
a copper-painted chunk of some nineteen-eighties junk
will fetch a pretty penny on ebay!



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