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resist and exist - curious poem lyrics

maybe i’m wanting to go back to a simpler time in life;
crawl back into the womb
maybe i’m envious of children
all i know is that there’s a point in every person’s life–
i think it hit me at thirteen, maybe–
where you really lose your innocence

one day, you’re a child
you’re living in this colorful world
where everything is a wonderful mystery
and the whole world revolves around you

one day you try to go just a little further than usual;
you’re testing your limits
and you realize that there is a leash on your collar
and you keep pulling and pulling
but all you do is choke yourself

then you take a look around you
you finally see the big picture, or at least a part of it
you think about where you are in the scheme of things
you have this amazing revelation
but you hate it because it’s not pretty and it’s not fun
you begin to ask questions that really can’t be answered
except, this time, they are questions that matter
your every movement is fixed and monitored carefully
your future is planned
and any deviation is punishable
there is no time for fun and games
for you are preparing to join the rat race
where’s your place?

and then there is this matter
with the leash that you are now aware of
you see who is at the end of it:
there are your parents and teachers
totalitarianism disguised as guidance
so you keep pulling, trying to escape
trying to find a weak link
and you keep choking
well, you either give up or you break your neck
and lucky if you get away

now, there you are
trapped and dehumanized
but it gives you lots of time to think
perhaps because the only thing you have are your thoughts
so you think, and you plan, and you dream
about what you’ll do when and if you’re ever free

finally, one day, it is declared that you are free
however, by the time they are through with you
you are a helpless, shivering mess
completely drained
and your spirit is broken
you’re afraid because you know nothing else
freedom has always been this distant dream
now, you can go, but where?
so, there you remain
or maybe you carefully step away

slowly, now
steady, like a baby faun taking her first steps
and you look back to see that
your parents and teachers weren’t holding the leash after all
they were merely on the other end of it
with their own collars

you feel sorry for them
but what a revelation:
you’re free!
wild as a deer

but wait, you can only go so far
there’s a big fence blocking your way
it’s twenty miles high
and it’s guarded by police, the government
your boss, and the army
and you’re still chained
it’s just a little longer than before
you thought you were free, ha!
you look around
you see millions of others just like you
all connected with chains
and they’re so tangled and intertwined
that no one can tell who’s holding the leash anymore

and the chains are too strong
and the fence is too high for you alone
but the only way you could ever hope to break free
is for everyone to pull together at the same time
and tear down the fence

but everyone is pulling in different directions
trying to achieve their own ends
and half of them don’t even realize that they’re chained
because they never even tried to leave

maybe they’re the lucky ones
at least they find bliss
but you know that there are greener pastures elsewhere
a place where there are no chains
and no collars
and you roam freely
and it’s just on the other side of that fence

- resist and exist lyrics

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