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reveal party - further away lyrics

i fell in love with the idea of california
like i could be something there
like she was a painting
and i viewed her abstractly
but she’s not a painting
she’s real, concrete and she rejected me
as far as i remember
i moved on aggressively
lonely in new jersey
it felt unworthy to claim anything there
i’ll change my mind
i’ve no mind of my own
and i can never own you
i’ve started drinking alone again
not enough to worry
but it’s another line tho
and i used to be so rigorous
beyond my years
i’m a child now
i’m blank half the time
upset the rest
a sudden switch
i don’t remember how i feel
i don’t know how i’m supposed to comfort you
when i’m not completely sure you’re real
if i could be constant in my sway
i thought you would change in a way
if i could become whatever you say
but you slip away every day

we constantly fight whatever we say
(you’d break your heart to hurt me)
i thought that could change in a way
(i cut myself on envy too)
if i could become whatever you say
(from all we’re turning into)
but you slip away every day
(and all i do to love you)

- reveal party lyrics

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