rhea butcher - last game of the season lyrics
[spoken]
it’s insane to me and i was playing our last game of the season and i made a different position
we usually play third base hot corner (aw) thank you. and whenever i told people that like “oh i play third base” they’re like “pfft came back to throw” (laughter) and i was like “no” it’s a different city hired they’re just putting me there (crowd laughing) they just put me there for fun. we don’t like to win games sort of like we like to lose for winning sake. you know what i mean.(crowd laughing) so i usually play third base. they had me at sec it’s just a little bit new. first dining i’m out there grounder bounces up i catch it make the out. perfect right? next batter’s up hits almost the identical ground ball that bounces almost the exact same spot so i put my glove in the exact same spot and it takes a wicked hop which everyone on that field said it was a wicked hop.(crowd laughing) they all agreed. so fast that i couldn’t move my glove up in time and it hit me directly in the face. (aaah) it hit me in the jaw (aw) i just got whacked to this ball and i just took a knee. i saw a little bit of stars so i took a knee. in this moment is what i have to tell you that my fiance at the time was out of town so i was like “oh cool bash to the weekend” (crowd laughing) i’ll get a dog seater. i’ll go to the whole baseball game, i’ll stay late and get a bomb pop afterwards. (crowd laughing) ah i’m gonna treat myself (crowd laughing) and she was like
never out of town it’s been a lot of time to get her always in the same place of the same time and she was out of town this weekend. so i took that knee after i got hit in the face of the baseball. i took that knee and as i rose up i just joked “i’m alone’’ (crowd laughing) to the whole baseball field. said “ i’m alone i’m going to the hospital” and i just walked off (crowd laughing)
because of my fiance’s been home. i would have just like told her like “oh i got hit for everything’s will be fine oh waited [?] come home you watch me something like that. but i was home alone. (crowd laughing) i’m home alone i didn’t wanna not get checked out have a concussion go back home start watching american pickers (crowd laughing). and fall into a honey hole that i can’t get back out (crowd laughing). you can’t be too careful.(crowd laughing)
so one of my teammates drove me to the hospital. we got there. i get you know ushered into the room and uhm he take my bottles and stuff and then uhm a nurse comes in and he’s like “oh my god i’m so sorry i’m late, so sorry we’re very busy” i was like “ oh it’s totally fine” he goes over the corners like “ oh i see i got your vitals already””ok so uhm miss butcher uhm, i’m just wondering uhm when was your last uhm menstruation period?” (crowd laughing) i was like “huh ho that’s so toughy” let’s see. when can i remember last because i never remember when my period was until i’m actively having it. (crowd laughing) just don’t think about it, most says i’m just a thirteen year old boy (crowd laughing) until i get my period and then i’m like “alright i’m not a thirteen year old boy” i’ve read about this. i am a lady there’s two types.that i remember i’m a lady and not a thirteen year old boy it’s when i get my period and went so emotional by whitney houston comes on the radio. (crowd laughing) when that song comes on i dance and imagine myself at a wedding dress. i don’t know it’s the only time (crowd laughing). but medical pract-tioners do not like to hear that you don’t know when your last period was. they’re just like
“oh god oh boy we gotta figure this out” (crowd laughing) and i’m just like “pfft i bit me. i don’t know” (crowd laughing) who can ever tell? i don’t know. (crowd laughing) and he was like “woah we’re gonna have to test you, you’re in” and i was like “(laughing) you won’t be doing that” (crowd laughing) “no.sir we will not be doing that at all”.(crowd laughing) and he was like “oh woah i mean, you might be pregnant we’re gonna have to do an x-ray, we have to check” (crowd laughing). and i was like “(stops) keep in mind i had full baseball [?] uh” (crowd laughing)
i had like knee length baseball pants a way graze and i had socks pulled up all the way and still cl-ts on. i haven’t even changed that like cl-ts. and a baseball had a three quarter sleeve uhm shirt and then icepack on my face and i was like “sir.i am 100% a lesbian” (crowd laughing)
“i do not have s-x with man” (crowd laughing) and i just looked up and went…high-five
(crowd cheering) so thanks to obama care. (crowd cheering) but the kicker was the do.,the doctor came and after that the male doctor came in shuffling in in his crocs (crowd cheering)
and had his clipboard and he was like “oh since here you got hit in the face with the baseball?”
“do you mean soft ball?” (crowd laughing) i can’t make that throw i said. (crowd laughing)
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