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ribsofabluejay - drugs, sex & overthrowing the government lyrics

verse 1
when i was a little kid
i used to have nightmares about all the ways i could get hurt
and how to avoid it all
but now that i’m older
all i can think about is how my life would be different
if i could just speak my mind
my mother says i used to lack empathy
but really, i was just so sick of everything
it’s too d+mn hard to talk to me when i get emotional
i get so distant and so cold unless i’m being hurtful
i hang onto every mistake i make
but i still manage to make them again
and i just can’t keep a friend

chorus
and i’m not throwing away my life
i’m just living the way i want to
if that leads to drugs, s+x
and overthrowing the government
or punching every teenage boy who has harassed me
then i feel like my life would be pretty well led

verse 2
i now need constant reassurance when somebody loves me
and if anything changes in the way they react to me
i’ll lose my f+cking mind
i’ll lose my d+mn sh+t
but i’ll try so hard to avoid telling you
because it shouldn’t matter
because the way i feel shouldn’t mean a thing to you
but you still care
verse 3
and i was an anxious kid
i used to let everything get to me
but lately, i’ve been trying really hard to get better at communicating
’cause i can’t count how many times
i’ve started a fight just because i couldn’t figure out how to just say
i was sorry

chorus
i’m trying so hard not to throw away my life
but to live it the way i want to
and if that leads to drugs, s+x
or fighting for reproductive rights
then i feel like i could be so powerful

bridge
and now i’m sorry to every person i’ve hurt
just because i couldn’t face the fact that i was wrong
and if i could’ve just been honest with myself
the people i used to love would be able to look me in the eye

chorus
and i’m not throwing away my life
i’m just living the way i’ve always wanted to
and if that leads to drugs, s+x
or punching every politician against trans rights
then i feel like i deserve
to be proud of myself

- ribsofabluejay lyrics

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