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richard dawson - heart emoji lyrics

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cl-ssic fm in my earbuds
awake with an achy tooth
i see a spider silhouetted on the gutter
caught in the glow of a text
who in the h-ll would be messaging you
at three-o’-bl–dy-clock in the morning?
the screen of your mobile goes dark before i can draw focus

you’re snoring like a pig
i creep around the bed and
key in your p-sscode
our dog’s date of birth
to have all my fears confirmed

with a heart emoji
a heart emoji
and the words “i miss you too”

we were -ssistant bar managers at the [?] academy
paying for our degrees, serving p-ss to the hordes
on a seemingly never-ending loop
i hadn’t been working there very long
you were giving me a b-ll-cking for pouring a guinness wrong
when the announcement came over the pa
to evacuate the building

huddling under your parka in the door
[?]
you had the cheek to ask me on a date
i said, i’d not consider it

until you apologize
apologize, apologize
and mean it

get the carving knife from the dishwasher
to stab through your heart
and take a backwards step
to feel the touch of something cold and wet
and to my horror, to my horror
there’s a slug squashed between my toes



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