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richard stilgoe - c5 - live lyrics

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[spoken]
stilgoe
we ought to to start with something fast and topical, about, say, the revitalisation of british industry. do you know what is going to revitalise british industry?

skellern
no, go on. surprise me

stilgoe
the sinclair c5
[laughter]

stilgoe
all over milton keynes there are firms tooled up ready to make targa tops and spoilers for the sinclair c5. this song is going to change its image and make it a success

[intro]

stilgoe
all the girls will stand and stare
when you’re sitting in your sinclair

skellern
hey hey hey, look over there
who’s the wally in the grey bath chair?

stilgoe
see the motion, feel the power
we can do fifteen miles an hour
skellern
gives you the chance with a little bit of luck

both
to be run over by a spanish truck

c5 c5 c5 c5
gonna rock, gonna rock
gonna ride, gonna ride
i’m glad that i’ve
got a c5

stilgoe
come on, baby, make me strong
charge my battery all night long

skellern
squeeze my switch in the morning and then

stilgoe
oh dear, it’s gone flat again
never mind, baby, stop me slowin’
use your feet to get me goin’

skellern
go on, admit it, you like the pain
both
from three rubber tyres and a bicycle chain

c5 c5 c5 c5
gonna rock, gonna rock
gonna ride, gonna ride
try and survive
in a c5

stilgoe
[spoken] my solo!

[instrumental break]

stilgoe
the man who made the calculator cuter
made the wrist tv, and made the home computer
britain’s premium microchipper
brings you the electric bedroom slipper

skellern
plastic dog bed without a door

stilgoe
a hoover craft
skellern
and a three wheeled claw

stilgoe
here it is, at last unmasked

both
the answer to the question no+one asked

c5 c5 c5 c5
gonna rock, gonna rock
gonna ride, gonna ride
thank you, sir clive
for the c5

stilgoe
who’s gonna help it carry on?
richard branson, or simon le bon
no, the guys who’ve taken on this money maker
are john delorean and freddie laker

skellern
give me the motor from a washing machine

stilgoe
and a tupperware body that’s really mean

skellern
don’t need a porsche, don’t need a merc

stilgoe
i wanna look like an absolute berk

both
c5 c5 c5 c5
gonna rock, gonna rock
gonna ride, gonna ride

skellern
too small for the pope in rome

stilgoe
but perfect for mrs thatcher’s barratt home

both
thank you, sir clive
for the c5…

[last syllable sustained portamento, as if their batteries are running down]



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