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rivilin - watch me sink lyrics

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[verse 1]
black eye, burnt skin
i know the pain comes within
with shattered bones in my wrist
we watch the self+hate begin

a picture frame of a friend
who wanted it just to end
purple stain on his throat
show that wounds never mend

silence then whispers all around
i feel them calling out for me
with reflections coming from the stained glass
i feel like i’m just a freak

when i saw his heavy hands hold onto you i knocked him off his feet
then popped his t++th like pills until the arms around me made mе weak
it was you, it was you always watching from the side
yеah for you i did things that made me wish i would just die

knocked to the concrete again, you said that you’d be there, no
i got beaten to a pulp, you’re never here you never care

[chorus]
and i
i only have myself to blame
i bottle up yeah all the hate
my nervous system is betrayed
and i
i feel the fatigue in my veins
i lay in stasis just decayed
never awake just sleep for days

[verse 2]
feel this emptiness just burn in my stomach
i haven’t eaten in days but still feels like i will vomit
im in this constant state of nervousness and panic attacks
i try to be there for you but that’s just something i lack

i can’t stand the public eye, with judgment from the sides
feel like i’m just not enough yeah i know something’s caught their eyes
is it empathy or pity? i couldn’t tell
it’s like they are waiting for the fall then they’ll come for the k!ll

left, right, i see their faces all in front of me
the ones i used to love the pain it brings i see them on their knees
searching for apparitions that never seem to appear
they’re praying to a deity that makes them cower in fear

so what’s the point in that, explain it to me, i wanna know
do you feel something as you kick your son yeah out of a home
can you look upon your child and see the scars on his hands
he just wants someone to be proud of him, he thought you’d understand
[chorus x2]
and i
i only have myself to blame
i bottle up yeah all the hate
my nervous system is betrayed

and i
i feel the fatigue in my veins
i lay in stasis just decayed
never awake just sleep for days

- rivilin lyrics

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