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rjldiablo - i thought about killing myself, then i remembered you lyrics

[verse]
yeah, i thought about taking my life
’cause i was committing crime when i was just nine
now i’m writing rhymes and i cry all the time
and when i don’t think about you, i wanna die
and i really need someone to save me
before depression bites back like it’s rabies
and i don’t know if i’ma ever have a baby
’cause from a young age they told me i’d never get a lady
and i’d never get laid, g, but f+ck, now they pay me
and they say they rate me, but i think they hate me
and man was diagnosed at six, i’m surrounded by pr+cks
and i thought he was my best friend, turns out he was a d+ck
and the people that i trusted
probably belong in the empire, not the republic
yeah, and they told man to suck d+ck
but f+ck, who gives a flying f+ck about me?
who f+cking cares about rhys?
they all wanna see him on the streets
slumped over, dead, couple rats by his feet
yeah, and i’m hearing voices in my head
yeah, and they tellin’ me i should be dead
yeah, and they sayin’ that i’m well fed
but i’m ungrateful for the sh+tty life i was led
yeah, and the police was out to get me
and everyone wan’ stress me
i try to be my best me
but it’s really f+cking hard when n0body can get me
i think i’m talking to my friends but i’m just talking to some figures
and they all digital, remember when i stole my mum’s liquor
they said my brain was the size of a nut, no snicker’s
it was tough, when i used to pee the bed i used to wear my nan’s knickers, ridiculous
and i really really wanna take my notepad when i go, go, go
‘cah i been writing ’bout the roads, roads, roads
you know i can’t be f+ck with no hoes, no, no
and i always been taking notes, notes
i was raised in the sped, yeah, and man had no ed
couldn’t get in my head, they said when i grew up i’d be dead
i nearly got sent to the military at eight
because i was running from classes with my mate
he gave me a dogtag with my poorly+spelled name
i remember when i didn’t really care about fame
i used to listen to dubstep like “f+ck yes”
um, yeah, music, it made me a check
and when i say that i’m self+harming i ain’t talking ’bout no casualties
i’m just thinking ’bout myself, depression got itself a saddle, see?
and ain’t no bad b+tches tryna straddle me
i remember when they used to say social worker could handle me or manage me
and now i need a f+cking bandage, jeez
my heart’s battery’s runnin’ out
remember the times when i didn’t know about clout
when youtube and david bowie was what i was about
now i’m a failure with no followers, i said that from my mouth
and this ain’t just a song about my youth
it’s me confessing, it’s the f+cking truth
i was a troubled child and i admit that
and it got to my head, now i’m a bit fat
and this ain’t no eminem “drug ballad”
this is that real sh+t that help me like a salad
and i’m the one in the game who always keeps strength
talking my thoughts whilst you big up cench
and me and cody’s friendship, it’s tense
i see my ghost already, fam, i got the sixth sense
and they talkin’ bits, man, talk your sh+t
manna talk their sh+t, but they lookin’ brad pitt
yeah, and i got a little rugged like radium
and if they hit me for a feature i won’t pay ’em
just because i hate ’em, don’t rate ’em
boy, you is a paigon

- rjldiablo lyrics

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