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rm beholder - 17 club lyrics

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[verse 1]
i don’t even know how to live my life
i’m the king, this is my kingdom, but it crumbles even if i try
and i could be lying but it doesn’t seem any better cause i’m too shy
to get out & feel better, i could go & dive but i’d rather add on when i cry

i’m surprised i’ve made it this far
to go from lego’s & feeling like a star to scars, guitar & driving a car
i’m so tired of being tired
i don’t wanna go through the day but time is slipping away

[chorus]
sometimes i don’t even want to be me
but i still hope i at least get 1 more week
am i asking for too much?
maybe at least 1 more second?

[verse 2]
lifе is tiring but i’m still willing to wake up
17 winters, so many ideas but i’vе attempted mostly none
the passion’s still there but how can i be so scared?
life is unbearable, i’m really full, i’m through

of my parents thinking i’m not full
say i have no meat on my bones
i don’t even eat meat, then they say i eat nothing
when almost every night, i stuff my face to feel happy
it’s sad to think my family doesn’t bring me happiness
they’ve done so much but they don’t make me laugh & give me stress
i have to work everyday now even when i’m not at my best
which is never but i still wish i could rest

i don’t want to go on, but i know i’ll be okay
it’s just these teenage school & work thoughts in my mind
on the other side, i know it shines
but i’d rather hide, & in your mind be put to the side

[chorus]
sometimes i don’t even want to be me
but i still hope i at least get 1 more week
am i asking for too much?
maybe at least 1 more second?

[outro]
trust me, i suck but i accept it
happier back then but knew nothing, i guess there’s still no difference
trust me, i know i’ll be okay
but my future lies ahead, past dead

18 now, scared of what’s ahead

- rm beholder lyrics

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