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rm beholder - pocketwatch lyrics

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[verse 1]
what’s the point in having memories if i’ll forget them?
what’s the point in having friends since they all left?
you could say i was the one that left my friends
but i wanted to be with them till the end

i wanted my grandpa till the end but now he’s dead
good 10 years for him was ahead
i care about everyone, that’s what i said
but no one in public cares about me, so i cry in bed

if i had a dollar for every time someone said they hate me
i’d have enough to grow like 50 money trees
then maybe i wouldn’t have had to steal money
maybe i wouldn’t steal from my family

mom, i’m sorry for all the hurdles
that i set up for you myself
it affected yours & my mental health
you tell me you love me, but you probably stopped thinking that for a second

[chorus]
you can’t live life
without leaving something behind
sacrifices are a part of living
let it go, so you don’t drown in the swimming

you can’t live life
without leaving something behind
sacrifices are a part of living
let it go, so you don’t drown in the swimming

[verse 2]
i wonder how william is, hope he’s having a good life
i wonder how mehvish is, probably wishes death threats to me at night
but honestly, i completely understand why
they would leave me all over time

i really try to be nice
but no one cares, so i’m left behind
it seems like there’s no love in sight
guess that’s how logic in life goes, it’s a homicide

it would be cool if i had someone to talk to while i fight
these pains that i have, don’t even have a knife
to k!ll myself or k!ll others, don’t have any might
but i don’t wanna do it anyway, love is what i strive

do you think i like having to cry?
you think i like trying to fit in, by using women & getting high?
i don’t ever wanna do that, so they hate me & tell me to die
so you know what, goodbye!

[chorus]
you can’t live life
without leaving something behind
sacrifices are a part of living
let it go, so you don’t drown in the swimming

you can’t live life
without leaving something behind
sacrifices are a part of living
let it go, so you don’t drown in the swimming

[outro]
and no, i’m not gonna hurt myself
i just wanna try & tell you to accept everyone
and just cherish what you have in life
you never know when you’ll lose something or lose yourself

- rm beholder lyrics

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