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robbie fulks – fountains of wayne hotline lyrics

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i hung a shingle
country music for hire
no fans, no singles
10 years later i’m tired

now i’ve racked my brain
and i’ve looked all around
but i can’t find a way
to freshen my sound

and now who do you call
when you’re down to one musical dime?
fountains of wayne hotline

[gerald]
fountains of wayne hotline. gerald speaking. how can i help you?

[robbie]
oh, yeah. thanks. uh, h-llo. um, yeah, i’m a country singer in a small midwestern town. and i’m here in the studio today. uh, let me explain. we’re working on a track. and uh we juhs, dih- dih- dih- just did a verse. it was kind of broken down. and at this point i’m not sure where to take it. where to go from here…

[gerald]
sir, sir. calm down. we can help you. we can help you. what you need to do now is employ the “radical dynamic shift”

[robbie]
the, the radical… yes, uh, wha-, what do you mean by that?

[gerald]
you know. full band entry, fortissimo, while maintaining consistent apparent volume on the vocal track

[robbie]
oh. oh! yeah, yeah! that’s a great idea! thanks a lot. thanks for your time

[gerald]
my pleasure. we’re always here

it’s such a drag
to face another filthy stage
beating these 3 chords
in an early middle age

i’d be better off with
7 in hand
an -n-log synth and an
angry young band

then i could turn my muddy water
into sweet mexican wine
fountains of wayne hotline

— slightly distorted melodic solo!
— check!

[grant]
hotline. department of bridges and infrastructure. grant speaking

[robbie]
oh yeah, hi there. i called a little while ago. i talked to a gentleman. i believe his name was gerald. and, um, he…

[grant]
sir, we’ve got about seven geralds here. you’re talking to me now

[robbie]
yeah, of course, yeah. the point is i’m in the middle of the song, we’re about 3 minutes in, and i’m not sure where to take it from here. we’ve done a couple verses and its just kind of, um hit a, hit a wall

[grant]
yeah. yeah, well, tell me about your textural variation and harmonic palette that you have going so far

[robbie]
oh of course. well, um. two 16-bar verses, the first one broken down, followed by a radical dynamic shift

[grant]
oh, that gerald

[robbie]
a slightly distorted melodic guitar solo. and chordally, let’s see, a 1, a 5, a 4, with and without a sub-dominant 7, a 2, 2 minor, and briefly a 9th compound over the tonic

[grant]
uh, well that 9th, is that telegraphed or just gratuitous coloration?

[robbie]
um, a bit of both, actually

[grant]
oh, ok. well let’s hit the bridge, i’ll tell you what you do. no new chords introduced. get a split bar of 4 in there, and push the one. and then we’ll slather the holy h-ll out of the thing with a semi-ironic beach boys vocal pad. and then an asymmetrical back hand. there’s your bridge

[robbie]
uh huh

[grant]
yep

[robbie]
isn’t that a lot of information to put in the…

[grant]
sir, i’ve been on this hotline for 15 years you’re gonna havta trust me on this one

[robbie]
ok, ok. thank you very much. i’ll give it a try. thank you

[grant]
you got it, chief

oh, yeah
now we’re getting big and full
oh, yeah
try a wider interval

just like this? oh yeah
more like: oh yeah!
check me out: oooooooo, yeah!

i feel invincible and all dialed-in
kind of long island with some west coast sin

so let’s cut to the coda
any old gimmick is fine
fountains of wayne hotline

- robbie fulks lyrics

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