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robert lund - nuttin' but spam lyrics

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i checked my box at aol
somebody e-mailed me
a chirpy voice said “you’ve got mail”
somebody e-mailed me
but it’s all cr-p from herbal quacks
tricks for dodging income tax
russian nymphomaniacs
somebody e-mailed me

i got a computer for christmas
eight zillion m.b. of ram
but i’m gettin’ hostile for christmas
’cause i’m gettin’ nuttin’ but spam

“you’ve got mail”

i don’t need loans from offsh-r- banks
somebody e-mailed me
i’ve never owned no septic tanks
somebody e-mailed me
old iraq most wanted cards
kinky housewives’ warm regards
no-repayment mastercards
somebody e-mailed me

oh, i’m gettin’ freaked out for christmas
how do they know where i am?
i’m gettin’ ornery for christmas
’cause i’m gettin’ nuttin’ but spam

ooh look,
they’ve got v–gr- at half price
somebody e-mailed me
a voodoo weight control device
somebody e-mailed me
i don’t need hidden camera stuff
donald rumsfeld in the buff
my kielbasa’s long enough!
somebody e-mailed me

oh, i’m gettin’ ticked off for christmas
free pay-per-view is a scam
and i’m gettin’ angry for christmas
’cause i’m gettin’ nuttin’ but spam

so you better back off
whatever you do
if i track you down i’m warning you
i’ll get postal for christmas!

“you’ve got mail”

- robert lund lyrics

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