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rocky phase - atupele's interlude lyrics

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(verse)

hey mom, i finally cut my hair
n i know that you would laugh, if only you were here
you know i’ve got some questions, like where to go from here
how am i to cope, when i just lost my biggest fan

so why’d you leave, instead of growing old with us
i hated seeing you sick, but at least you were home with us

lately i pretend to smile, n acting like i tolerate
lately i pretend to laugh, but truth is i am not okay
and if i keep pretending long enough, i might forget i wasn’t
someday when i get to tell my kids about the peace in my time
you will be the one that am reflected to..

am 27 it won’t be long i hope you wait for me
if really there is a god, i hope he keeps you safe for me
& tell him that am dying to see the bigger plan

& don’t worry am checking in, on how my siblings are holding up
this is how am handling grief, am choosing not to open up

i keep the rule of fight club
coz everyone is an expert on your mental health
i suffocate, every time i hear them say;
‘my condolences’, ‘i know the loss is deep’
‘you shouldn’t be alone; you know depression is real’
‘it’s been a couple of months so why are you still like that?’
my response is that you have never had a mom like mine

- rocky phase lyrics

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