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rodney carrington - carlos (2000) (live) lyrics

i gotta tell you this too,you know,i’m a short f-cker,you know,like i said,i gotta,i work purely off personality.i ain’t got a problem with it.if i was tall i’d probably be stupid,i’m just guessing,i don’t know
but you tall f-ckers got it good when it comes to walking in the bedroom,just dropping your drawers.”oh my god what the fu-“you know.we,us short f-ckers gotta be creative.i came up with something.put on a wig,and talk with an accent.i brought my wig with me,i’d like to share it with you:

h-llo my name is carlos
i want to make love to you
i want you to get on the bed,and take off your panties,do as i say
hurry girlfriend,right now,okay
then i want you to pretend that your feet hate each other,do as i say
heh,you drunk f-ckers’ll try to use that line tonight.every one of you will f-ck it up too “get up dere on the bed and pretend your feet stink.well i can’t remember what he sed just get your panties off!!i want a lil pootie poo.”
one of you girls tonight will be lucky enough to have your hiney spanked by carlos.who will it be?
who will be my s-xy girl?i will find you s-xy girl and you will come.and when you come you will come again,who will it be?
who will be my s-xy girl?i want my s-xy girl right now,where is she?
i like you,right there,hiding behind your boyfriend
come to carlos
look at you!
i like you s-xy girl where did you get that dress?right now i tell you
i tell-here’s whats going to happen
i will spank your hiney,like this
you will really like this-don’t fight it,do as i say!
we will have fun
come to carlos,right now.bend over this chair,do as i say.bend over!
(hoh)man!over-achiever,i love her!oh wai-i li-oh-it’s okay,i play,i play,she attack me,you saw,okay
ummm,when you bend over,i would like to do a little trick
i would like to make my weiner dissapear,okay?
no no,no no,it’s okay,it’s okay,it’s okay,it will reappear
and then dissapear again,really fast,it’s o-aye!i play!she attack me,you saw,okay
she can’t keep her hands off me,look at that,okay.crazy
i tell you what,you don’t want to do that,i tell you what.lay on carlos
come,lay on carlos!it’s fun,come to-come!bouncy ride,bouncy ride,come on.lay on carlos!okay,okay,okay.sometimes it does not work
a woman needs a little romance,i will give it to her.i tell you what.get on your chair,just like this,it’s okay.give me that,i tell you what,give me that water,right there.here,i’ll give you a little something,make you,put you in the mood.this is,uh,this is h-rny juice.it’ll make you very h-rny,be careful.taste.you are h-rny,huh?ahaha.i will be h-rny with you.i will be a little more h-rny than you
oh,he wants to be h-rny too
we will have a threesome!
jesus christ vah!!!ahahahahaha
i like you.you will fall in love before it’s over,don’t fight it.you are h-rny right now.i tell you what i will do,i will sing to you:

as i walk on to the stage
tonight i turn another page
another nitch up in my cup
i will sit down in your lap
look at you you turn me o-oon
i squeeze your b00bs when we’re alo-oone
i am caught up in your trap…
i hope she dont give me the clap

okay,i play
thanks for coming out,good night!

- rodney carrington lyrics

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