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rodney dangerfield - rappin' rodney lyrics

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i tell you, i’m all right now
but last week i was in rough shape
i don’t get a break with nothing

i played hide and seek when i was three
(no respect, no respect)
why, they wouldn’t even look for me
(no respect, no respect)

i was an ugly kid, i never had fun
(no respect, no respect)
they took me to a dog show and i won
(no respect, no respect)

when i was born, i brought no joy
(no respect, no respect)
my old man said he wanted a boy
(no respect, no respect)

i was an ugly kid, always alone
(no respect, no respect)
halloween, i had to trick or treat over the phone
(no respect, no respect)

friends don’t call
my phone don’t ring
i don’t get a break with anything
(what’s the matter, rodney?)
ah, death, where is thy sting

(chorus):
it’s just rapping rodney
ain’t wrapped too tight, no, no
rapping rodney, get out of sight
it’s just rapping rodney
make no mistake
poor old rapping rodney
can’t get a break

i’m getting old, it’s hard to face
(no respect, no respect)
during s-x, i lose my place
(no respect, no respect)

steak and s-x, my favorite pair
(no respect, no respect)
i have them both the same way, very rare
(no respect, no respect)

i know i’m old, i could go any minute
(no respect, no respect)
i got a kidney shaped pool with a stone in it
(no respect, no respect)

doctor vinnie boombatz
that’s another one
(no respect, no respect)
i said i wanted to stop aging
he gave me a gun
(no respect, no respect)

i told him i got water on the knee
he gave me a sponge and raised his fee
(what’s the matter, rodney?)
it ain’t easy being me!

(chorus)

ah, give me a break
play something from the forties

now what kind of music is this
how bout stardust

hey, what are you doing
that’s not stardust

listen to this, will you
i mean, where are the flutes

what a band
hey, don’t quit your day jobs

look at this
the drummer carries the melody

hey, tell the b-ss player
i like his instrument

hey, boys, keep it going
lay it on me
i’m in the groove

nothing goes right, i just can’t fight it
(no respect, no respect)
eastern airlines thanked me for flying united
(no respect, no respect)

i got some money, what did i do
(no respect, no respect)
i bought some quicksand
the deal fell through
(no respect, no respect)

my car broke down, i called triple a
(no respect, no respect)
they left the car and towed me away
(no respect, no respect)

i can’t take it no more
i’m getting too old
(no respect, no respect)
i called suicide prevention
they put me on hold
(no respect, no respect)

winter, summer, spring, and fall
i’m always up against the wall
(what’s the matter, rodney?)
i don’t get no respect at all!

(chorus)

it’s getting worse, it’s caving in
the happiness i can’t take it no more
it’s all over

hey, where are my kids
somebody, help me
hey, bartender?
hey, who’s that guy on my daughter?
where’s my wallet?
how do i get out of here?
stop that dancing!
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