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rooster teeth productions - throwdown: joel vs caboose lyrics

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[jeremy dooley]
it’s time for a rooster t–th throwdown!
joel heyman
versus caboose
rappers ready?
throwdown!

[joel heyman]
now hold on a second
how can you battle my lyrics?
because if it wasn’t for my voice
would you even exist?

i don’t know where you came from
if the truth be told
cause if you were based off me
your suit would’ve been gold

we all mock your talk and walk
a laughing stock
but blame the writers that you ended up
dumber than rocks

i guess i shouldn’t be shocked
that you’re not reacting
to the fact you’d disappear
if i just stopped acting!

your popularity is completely
because of me
i rule a comedy tyranny
just going “boop bop beep”

taking you down in this fight
won’t give me a thrill
now give me a b-tton
so i can earn some cash off this k!ll

i can’t believe i’m shouting
wasting rap constructing powers
on this creepy crazed creation
of my amazing acting prowess

you got fourteen seasons
but now i’m running this show
now say h-llo to my friend…
oh god! cinnamon! no!!

[caboose]
h-llo
i’m michael j. caboose
and mister sargent told me
i have something to prove

(sarge: dirty blue…)

so here i go!
a spinning lyrical blur
i’m gonna load up my rifle
and help you out with my words

cause i’m on the blue team!
i’m a friend you can trust
feared my sargent, simmons, gruff
and even admiral b-ttercrust

i’d ask you to be my pal
but that might get you k!lled
and you can’t be my best friend
that position is filled!

i have a following, honoring
all the accidental ongoing
falling of church
i’m promising i’m swallowing!

i’ve been told i’m getting better
and i know that it’s true
because it’s been a whole month
without ctrl + f + u!

i’m told i’m pretty good at rapping
and you’re not to shabby
but you seem awfully mad
i’ll call your mister mccrabby

challenging me to a rap
really seems kind of crazy
cause i’m michael j. caboose
and i hate babies

[joel heyman]
you k!lled your own leader
and still thinks he’s your friend?
you thought a bomb came to life
and then died in the end

i’m a powerful player
so you better be warned
you might be strong as an ox

(caboose: but i don’t have any h-rns!)

shut up
all your humors just a creation of mine
you’re a k!ller and probably the dumbest
criminal mind

i decide what you say
i’m the king of this house
now i’ll take back control
adam, you get the mouse

[caboose:]
wait, adam was here?
huh, where did he go?
i wanted to say bye, like you did
to that how to show

i’m everyone’s favorite
and i’m not a k!ller
you won’t make me back away
right, princ-p-l miller?

i was once best friends
with a floating laser eye!
you’ll never win cause
i have a plan if i die

church
i want you to have my orange juice

(church: godd-mnit, just shut up caboose!)

…

[caboose]
okay
mj caboose right here!!
system ua!
blue pop, 2016 b-tches!
h-llo

- rooster teeth productions lyrics

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