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rottenmynded - canvas lyrics

yeah yeah…
uh…

v1: my canvas was ready, still/distributed supplies just to brush up each set of sk!lls…through the highlights, i had shaded my mental will/and paid a high price, tryna search for a better deal…man, is this how it goes?…walt disney in the flesh, i was froze/in the future, who knows what past sh+t gets exposed?…skeletons closed+ inside a dark closet get dusted off, only to replenish the bones/tainting the image you know…that’s not how i’ll choose to be remembered by/so seperatе me from the past, cuz that’s a separatе i…i got tattoos that remind me of the better times/way before, when i was pretending about being dead inside…i remember the cup noodles, dinner was eggs and rice/down in the dumps, who knew+ i’d be eating steak with fries?…what if the food stamps discontinued, no ebt when i needed p+g…a struggle to “stay alive”…i feel like the “beegees,” but i barely “ha ha,” i cry when i hate my life+ cuz everyone needs me+ when i need to speak, please+ my phone’s like kehlani and cardi b, cuz it “ring+rings”…tell me who’s picking up?…no+body… feel like a “p+rno audition for oral,” my first impressions “sucked”…they tell me i’m awkward, said i’m weird but i’m moreso a disgrace, young n+gga that quit the race while i was a+”head”…ain’t no “body” catching “up”…wow…could you blame me though?/a young g+nius, was writing poems at 8 years old…humiliated so+ much as a teen, with the long graphic tees, nike’s with the yellow sole…pushed back and forth, a short kid who was skin and bones/mentally abused, and forcefed on some sh+t i hold+ so deep i get exhausted, you wouldn’t get it though+ would write til my pencil broke…til i switched to the gel pen, needed something permanent/stopped trying to erase mistakes, and rewrote words again…until i could spell them right, expressing the worst events/paper was the only place that i seeked encouragement…in class sitting alone, dont think i ever heard of friends/people just “tolerated” me, or loved every verse i’d vent+ on, long gone, my successes were circumvented, told me dig deep, but i’m barely scratching the surface and+

hook: how do you know+ when it’s time to hang it up now?, where do you go+ when the thing you love is gone?/how should you feel when n0body gives a f+ck now?, maybe you been declining all along+

as you got much older, responsibilities, harder…maybe we can go a little longer…if you dig deep, if you dig deep, tell me what do you find?

tell me what do you find+
when the canvas is your mind?

v2: i was painting with the blood from my slit wrists+ michael jackson’s final tour, this+ is it…bleeding out slowly, dying with the quickness/my job got me by the throat, f+cking strep test…x eyes on me, forgive me if i’m express+ive/paint a few more images with this excess+ dna, couldn’t be afraid, i’m taking next steps/sleep away my stress, or beat the brakes+ off negative things i face?…your best guess is good as mine, but no one’s mind’s as good as mine, no freaking way…holding secrets in, toss the key, i’ll keep’em safe/more talents+ to (talons, 2) claw at’em, no eagle legs…too gifted for these low wages…this head sickness makes me the most favored/and most hated…low s+x drive these days, i’m road raging/now i’m on a mission, double+0 agent…okay, then…i see where i stand now…tell them to stand down…cuz the first motherf+cker tryna block my blessings is getting cold case files written with those names, n+gga, i don’t play…i took several notes from oj/i feel like a nokia, i won’t “break”…nah, yo…12 years making my job dope/to get paid the same dough as a n+gga that just started, so now i’m hoping all ya n+ggas get john doe’d/i’m hec’, n+gga!…this place ain’t big enough for my growth/this place be getting lit up cuz i glow…too bad these paychecks tippytoe’ing on tightropes/too bad my smiles make people think i’m just nice folk/too bad, you kept those high hopes for a psycho…too bad you ain’t notice me as a prized po+ssesion/plus i do my best work while i’m high though…
hi though…struggling to find ways that i could go viral, i’m not tryna die broke…

- rottenmynded lyrics

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