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rouge cypher - dear diary (remade) lyrics

[intro]
i was always raised to be real
doesn’t matter who i was with or who i was talking to, i was raised to be real
my friends, my family, my girlfriend
i was always real with them

[verse 1]
dear diary, i’m here to write on another page, but this time it’s not a blind flurry of rage
this time i’m here to synthesize on myself and to tell about the damages already been dealt
i was trynna be a soldier, put this sh-t under closure, but i was just carrying weight upon my shoulders
i was trying not to show it, so no one would ever know it, but after awhile i really started to blow it
so, lemme tell you about what had happened up on the block
i was nearly brought to tears when my homie got shot
i couldn’t tell if he was dead or not
but in the end, i just left it up to god
i thought i was tough but within, i wanted to cry, i didn’t want one of my main homies to die
i want you to know that he operates every day and every night and in the end, we ended up winning the fight

[verse 2]
my whole life, i was a lover-boy at school
i was a lover-boy
i was always fallin’ in love with one girl, fallin’ in love with the next
i don’t know what was wrong with me but i was just always a lover-boy
i always fell in love with anybody that i just thought was nice, and then i met this one special girl one day, and i just knew
i had to have her…

[chorus]
dear diary, i recently got a girlfriend
today i decided we’ll be together till’ the end
though a couple of times she does seem a bit off, could it be we both have suicidal thoughts?
off of that, fast forward to 2018, there’s no couple on earth, happier than her and me
we’ve been together for a whole 14 months
and we’ve never had an argument
not even once

[verse 3]
hey boo!
do you still remember our first kiss?
the one at the movies, before we met up with chris
i remember it too
every single moment, i had it planned out, and you didn’t even know it
i could tell after that, you were filled with such happiness
i thought, “ain’t no way we splittin’ up after this”
i’m your teddy bear, and you’re my boo
shhh, don’t say a word
i love you too

[speach]
a lot of the stuff i write comes from my dreams, a lot of influence comes from my dreams
but one night i had a dream about me, my kid, my girlfriend, and his god-parents
and it just looked like a beautiful scene
and i knew i just needed it to happen

[verse 4]
this next verse is a letter to my future child
i just want you to know that your parents are wild
your god-father and i, we were like brothers, and ivory is the one that picked your wacky god-mother
but we all got together like a happy family
with the two wacky girls, and the two dogs from the streets
when your mom said she wanted to be with me, i was thinkin’ man, my life is crazy
the shy little art girl together with a rapper, come on
name a pair that could be possibly wack-er
but i will admit, i do have my crazy side, and to be honest i think that’s the part of me that she likes
kid, i made this verse cause’ i saw you in a dream
your two god-parents, your mother, you and me
and know that no force can separate us, and for my whole life i’ve been fightin’ off the haters for you

[speach]
now in the future, i know that i don’t have that great of a plan, but it-it’s a good working plan
and in the future, i just have this vision of what i want my family to look like
and if i follow my dream, like i know my girlfriend’s gonna’ do
um, we will succeed
we will make that dream come true
and uhh, honestly it’s just what keeps me goin’
sicknesses don’t affect me
hatred doesn’t affect me, doubt doesn’t affect me
because i have motivation, i use my struggle as my motivation
and i could tell anyone that if they have motivation, they will succeed

- rouge cypher lyrics

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