rowen james - therapy lyrics
britizen kane:
what to do with this bic?
use it to script another 16 before discarding it with the ones i threw in the bin?
or use it to ink a note to my mother, tell her i love her?
but the pain don’t fade + rather not choose to exist
always said i wanted to make you and dad proud, look how that mapped out, your only son + useless as sh+t!
started abusing prescrips, it got me robotic but life i don’t want it if i’m never feeling more human than this!
so absorbed in this wishing
it’s now distorting my vision
my inner thoughts are a prison
but still won’t talk to the clinic
i stay recording my writtens
dreaming of touring and gigging
even when deep depression went and torn through my system [check]
a decade on from my first single and what’s to show?
though i think the industry tried to usher me out long ago
stayed grounded and chased clouts for the pot of gold
i thought i would be where they are + guess it wasn’t so…
me and the music business, i never have our visions alligned a lie they’d rathe see britizen die, look
but as a man and a father society says don’t ever show your hardships so i hid em’ inside, it hurts!
i’d be lying if i said i knew the journey from there to the rail bridge, memory view is blurry + but i walked it
every intention of leaping off i ask you who was ther for me? and please don’t all speak at once!
i gave myself the diagnosis, psychosis, need to cut until it bleeds and take the meds in higher doses
i remember k!llin’ the club show verve, now even thats bitter sweet because the drug’s don’t work + i mean…
i hate the fact i feel enslaved to rap but even if i walk away i know i’d always take her back
retiring here don’t come with a pension payment plan
but please excuse the sigh before i fade to black…
rowen james:
living in this perfect world + a less than perfect specimen
i’m just putting effort in to try and get my record spin
and for the record im not recognised for anything i’m bringing to this scene and i don’t really think i’ve ever been
and i might never be cos’ i’m not anti vocal
i’m a strong willed, opinionated, know+it+all who’s anti social
how do you market that?
someone put the cream on ice
i’ve done shows for less than what it costs to buy a haagen dazs
but we was loving life we said that we would laugh at that… one day
but im yet to see the funny side
i quit a couple times, them couple times i tried i just couldn’t stay away, it’s just that love that never dies
the money would be nice cos i’ve put blood into these lines, worked until i sweat, pretend it’s coming from my eyes
guess i’m just stark raving
tryna play the part + maybe
loudest in the room just do you don’t hear my heart breaking
guess its time to get a “real job” + isn’t it
i guess it always had to end this way + didn’t it
cos’ now i’ve realised that my real life won’t be realigned… by these lines i’ve been reeling off
my denial kept my dreams aloft
had a lot of hype back in my tweens that i’ve been feeding off
that won’t feed the family, how did it amount to this?
guess i’m just a square peg tryna’ fit a star shaped hole [woah]
i am not cut out for this
i do not doubt my gift
i doubt that listeners could give a sh+t that i can flip a metaphor or twist a couple similies and synonyms and get applause + in this 2020 climate
i see clear with my 2020 sight that… there’s no demand for this product i’m providing
so it’s time that i retire from the mic but…
please excuse the sigh before the silence…
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