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rubberbandits - i like to shift girls lyrics

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why you at the clinic ked?
same thing as you.
i’ve got infections on my mickey that have spread to my p-b-s.
did the doctor give you penicillin, condoms or lubes?
no he gave me a lecture and a strict set of rules.
he said
getting your hole is really taking its toll
you’ve been riding all your groupies and spending all your dole.
your s-xual health is getting out of control
so follow my directions for the sake of your soul
you only shift girls
to save all your money
you only shift girls
you cant have no f-nny
you only shift girls
to save all your money
you only shift girls
on the mouth
wait wait wait so the doctor told you you’re only allowed to shift girls, and nothing else?
no nothing
best of luck with that
time went by and the hours turned into days
i wasnt riding girls, i was taking them on dates
i couldnt think of s-x so i was filling up the sp-ce
with deep conversations and staying up late
and when the time came that she would ask me for some more
i’d shift her on the lips then kick her out the door
but celibacy
as hard as it can be
has got advantages and bonuses as i’ve come to see
by not having s-x
i did not expect
that girls will cook you dinner when you show them respect
and now i shift girls
and spend all their money
i like to shift girls
i dont want no f-nny
i like to shift girls
and spend all their money
i like to shift girls
on the mouth
i never thought my life would be as happy as this
if i need something done i use the power of the shift
this girl is washing my car
that one is sweeping my rug
because i refused them both a ride and theyve confused it with love
i like to shift girls
while they’re ironing my jocks
or fixing holes in my socks
and when i have chickenpox
i like to shift girls
while im checking my mails
and when im hammering nails
or pelting houses with snails
i like to shift girls
while im fishing for perch
and when im dressed as a nurse
thats robbing sh-t from her purse
i like to shift girls
while im filling a bath
and during a panic attack
or making tea for a j-p
i like to shift girls
reading frederick neitzche
and drawing pictures of priests
then tearing leaves from a tree
i like to shift girls
when my fantas gone fizzy
spinning round til im dizzy
soaking a tampon in whiskey
i like to shift girls
wondering if theres a god
and checking underneath logs
trying to measure a dog
i like to shift girls
pointing at pakistan
dont give a f–k who they am
i even shifted a man
and if theres noone around
and i cant find a girl
i dig a hole in the ground
and start shifting the world
i like to shift girls



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