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rubberbandits - magic lump lyrics

[intro]
[f-ck that]
yeah we’re gonna kick some straight limerick city g funk
[limerick city g funk]
cause that’s how we do it b-tch
[that’s how we do it -limerick]
i’ll tell you a story right now
[yeeaahh, limerick city]
bout something wrong with me
[oh yeah]
it goes like this
[that’s how we do it]

[chorus 1]
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
i’m worried ‘bout my b-ll-cks i touch and hold them

[verse 1]
i caress them, i bless them, i pray i’m not sick
will this lump move up to the top of my d-ck
and will it get worse before it improves?
oh, jesus please, don’t have my b-lls removed
my cajones, my goolies, my family jewels
i can’t wear shorts at the swimming pool
and if a beour catches sight of my lumpy nads
will she laugh, and point, and tell the lads?

[chorus 2]
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
so i called round to dr.mossy and i showed him

[verse 2]
it’s a variation of a poor guys spot, and the nurse concurs that’s what you’ve got
but there’s no need for pills or anesthetic
cause the damage to your sack is merely cosmetic
it could be there for a couple of years
but have no woes and have no fears
between you and me, and these four walls
there’s nathing wrong with your lumpy b-lls

[chorus 3]
i got a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
i got a wickety wickety lump in my scr-t-m
yeah
a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]

[verse 3]
so the weeks go by, and the lumps still there
it’s getting’ hard to hide beneath my pubic hair
then late one night, i awoke with a fright
cause my sack started flashing like a traffic light
oh, holy moley am i losing my mind?
i swear to god i hear a little voice inside
and so i rub the lump
and to my surprise
there came a puff of smoke from my j-p’s eye
and as the dust settled
what do i see?
a big genie lookin’ down at me
he winks at me, and he stinks of pee, he says
“thank you man, for you have set me free”

[chorus 4]
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
there’s a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
a magic lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
i got a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]

[verse 4]
so the genie makes an offer i can’t refuse
“these 3 wishes that i grant to you
but choose them wisely, every one
cause wishes made, can’t be undone”
so i sit up on my bed and i scratched my head
“should i bring back 2pac from the dead?
do i really need a p-n-s 2 foot long?
or a time machine
or a m-ssive bong?”
so i settled on the factors of a happy life
a house made of hash and a rapid wife
“and your third wish what will it be?”
“uhh- a german shepherd that can talk to me- ”

[chorus 5]
i found a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
there’s a lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
yeah, a magic lump in my scr-t-m
[a lump in his scr-t-m]
uh, yeah

[verse 5]
you’d imagine i’m a big success
but truth be told my life’s a f-ckin’ mess-
cause me and that dog had a fallin’ out
so he told the guards about my cannabis house
they did me for possession with intent for sale
now i spend my days up in limerick jail
and as for my beour, my s-xy wife
she ran off with that dog who ruined my life
so every night i rub my sack
in hopes that genie might come back
cause he took my dreams
and crushed and broke them
and left me nathing
but a lumpy scr-t-m

[outro]
a lump in my scr-t-m!
i found a lump in my scr-t-m!
a cursed lump in my scr-t-m!
an unwanted lump in my scr-t-m!
i hate this lump in my scr-t-m!
this f-cking lump in my scr-t-m!
i rang up my parents and i told them
all about this b-st-rdin’ lumpy scr-t-m!

- rubberbandits lyrics

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