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ruby fields - bruises lyrics

[verse 1]
the first boy i kissed was in a close friend’s pool
a bet from the boys, thank god he pulled through
he got thumps on the back, i felt uneasy with that
and walked home, touching my lips like a bruise
the first guy i let touch my skin with more than his eyes
left her with ghosts i still speak to at night
that say i wasn’t strong enough for what i thought was tough love
and years later, i learned it wasn’t fine

[verse 2]
i used to love the way all choirs sound
but something about them’s different now
see, the church, it just claims too many these days
my friends’ livеs were worth less than thеir gowns
being judged from the pews through stained+glass art
at my faith flailing like a flag at half+mast
but with young boys unsafe and the unjust ordained
i won’t pray to dusty pages of the past

[verse 3]
i’d like to believe there’s more than just us
i’m an atheist who enjoys the stars
not the ones in magazines my mother reads but never keeps
sometimes, i mumble prayers in my sleep
i used to be scared of midnight silhouettes
that my coat rack was a murderer standing by my bed
but these days, i’m so lonely, instead of a scream
i’d probably ask him to hold me instead

- ruby fields lyrics

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