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rushad eggleston - hamperson vs. mckrukto lyrics

anyways, i’d like to tell you a little baseball story
now, baseball’s fun for anyone who has an imagination
because bink, and bonk, and bounk
and anyway, i used to be a shortstop
well, this is a mystic baseball league story
about this dude name hamperson who was kind of crazy
and this evil batter named rimbershank mckrukto+face
and it will start as a song and end as a straight newscast

now hamperson was a crazy man
he kept his brains up in the sky
and when he stood on the mound out there
he was up on a hill so high
he was up on a hill so high

rimbershank mckrukto+face
was the meanest in the game
it would chill all the other men to the bone
when the crowd would chant his name
when the crowd would chant his name
name: mckrukto, mckrukto, mckrukto
name: mckrukto, mckrukto, mckrukto
name: mckrukto, mckrukto, mckrukto
name: mckrukto, mckrukto, mckrukto

well the score was tied in the bottom of the ninth
in the most important game
and the prize for the winner of the match
was universal fame
it was universal fame
newscast

so hamperson’s on the mound
and mckrukto’s at the plate
in the bottom of the ninth
in the most important grame
here we go

mckrukto was at the plate
chewy and determined
glistening with a nighttime enemy glow

hamperson was on the mound
tall, mystic, wispy
like wild oat+straw on some lost hillside
which to him, was where he was throwing from

he reached back into the icy atmosphere
and grabbed a baseball+shaped meteor
and flung the slowest pitch ever thrown
but it was also the hardest pitch ever thrown
and like a slow+motion cosmic stone
it crushed towards the plate

mckrukto swung
and it splintered his bat
and the crowd went wild
and hamperson won
hamperson struck mckrukto out
hamperson struck mckrukto out
it was in the news
hamperson struck mckrukto out
that was what the newspaper said
on the headlines, on the headlines
hamperson struck mckrukto out
on the headlines, on the headlines
hampersa+ay+ay+ay+ay+ay+on
struck mckrukto out!
out!
out!
three strikes you’re out!

- rushad eggleston lyrics

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