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ryan carter - i got hard lyrics

[chorus]
at the nursing home i’m h+rny
it’s date night and i’m flirty
see that lady, let’s get dirty
she was 60, i was 30
i got hard!
i f+cked round and got hard

[verse 1]
a gaggle of the old broads left the church
purses packed, wet depends, i must assert
got ya back, don’t need no cane, i carry her
grab my b+lls, squeeze the shaft, i bend the curb
i drive her car, really old model t on the side streets
lookin like hoke colburn with miss daisy
old ladies is cool, believe me
over 60, i have to watch em
the older they are, the more it teaches, past menopause don’t need no condoms
her husband is dead, no need to k!ll
city morgue got his corpse on a chill
the lady chose me cuz i’m young and lean
making bloomers drop down is my new routine
help! i’ve fallen and can’t get up!
oh sh+t, i forgot her lifealert!

[chorus]
at the nursing home i’m h+rny
it’s date night and i’m flirty
see that lady, let’s get dirty
she was 60, i was 30
i got hard!
i f+cked round and got hard

[verse 2]
i’m at the home spitting game to miss minnie pearle
in the hospital bed i rocked her world
her body covered in ad, mentholatum, and beng+y
i count the bed sores then i cover with band+aids
she’s in and out of consiousness, a daily malaise
b00bs sagged, hip bad, and she smell like decay
morphine she shooting, knocked out, i’m lootin
wendy williams an addict, now “how you doin?”
singing babalú and watching lucy foolin’
we play strip poker, and she start to losin’
no junk in her trunk, wrinkled skin hangs loosely
colostomy bag tore, i gagged profusely
estate account holds a million bucks
you see me, i’m cleaning sh+t, so i make the cut
i look at her will and i yelled out “oh no!”
i’m listed as “help”, i don’t get no cash flow

[chorus]
at the nursing home i’m h+rny
it’s date night and i’m flirty
see that lady, let’s get dirty
she was 60, i was 30
i got hard!
i f+cked round and got hard

[verse 3]
it’s a geriatric home, who dame the bestest?
who is the meanest? who convalescent?
you that’s who! that’s why the granny chose me!
you keep the thots, i prefer antique’s
primo, poligrip, life insurance guaranteed
look like she 95, she’s a 117
i’m ryan carter, you should know by now yo
born in detroit, 1+9+9+1 homie

werther’s and lollipops
licorice and b+tterscotch
got a plate of warm cookies, tall glass of milk
i’m munching and i’m eating, take breaks to sip
god knows imma end up in h+ll
first of the month, social security check is in her mail
i’m living off her money, deadbeat, villain
no flatline today, she good, still living

[chorus]
at the nursing home i’m h+rny
it’s date night and i’m flirty
see that lady, let’s get dirty
she was 60, i was 30
i got hard!
i f+cked round and got hard

at the nursing home i’m h+rny
it’s date night and i’m flirty
see that lady, let’s get dirty
she was 60, i was 30
i got hard!
i f+cked round and got hard

- ryan carter lyrics

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