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residents – the ascetic lyrics

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every day i go up on the mountain
climb to the top but i don’t know what for
it’s quiet until i hear a voice up on the mountain
beware of what you want
it might want you more

ashes my burned hut
but beautiful like cherry
blooming on the hill

-one of my patients just before he died
and just before i left the hospital and began to travel
if he could face death so calmly
how could i face life with so much doubt
now i can sit on the side of a mountain
and watch the shadows slowly filling the valley floor
but not without the doubts that still linger
and constantly caress the edges of my shadowy interior
at least a catheter expels impurities in a manner of model efficiency
and my previous profession always at least offered that
flawless vasectomies in clean and well lit places
a sterile field sealed from infection but not from disease
i often wonder if i left anyone behind
but somehow i just can’t remember
only an oddly defined drive to find a better way
but somehow i don’t believe this is it
as i watch the shadows slowly creeping closer
i think about india and the hindu concept of maya
it took me so long to understand
the sp-ce between reality and perception
and now it seems that i live there



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