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rodney carrington – carlos lyrics

i gotta tell you this too, you know, i’m a short f-cker, you know, like i said, i gotta, i work purely off personality.i aint got a problem with it.if i was tall i’d probably be stupid, i’m just guessing, i don’t know.
but you tall f-ckers got it good when it comes to walking in the bedroom, just dropping your drawers.”oh my god what the fu-“you know.we, us short f-ckers gotta be creative.i came up with something.put on a wig, and talk with an accent.i brought my wig with me, i’d like to share it with you:

h-llo my name is carlos.
i want to make love to you.
i want you to get on the bed, and take off your panties, do as i say.
hurry girlfriend, right now, okay.
then i want you to pretend that your feet hate each other, do as i say.
heh, you drunk f-ckers’ll try to use that line tonight.every one of you will f-ck it up too “get up dere on the bed and pretend your feet stink.well i can’t remember what he sed just get your panties off! i want a lil pootie poo.”
one of you girls tonight will be lucky enough to have your hiney spanked by carlos.who will it be?
who will be my s-xy girl? i will find you s-xy girl and you will come.and when you come you will come again, who will it be?
who will be my s-xy girl? i want my s-xy girl right now, where is she?
i like you, right there, hiding behind your boyfriend.
come to carlos.
look at you!
i like you s-xy girl where did you get that dress? right now i tell you.
i tell-here’s whats going to happen.
i will spank your hiney, like this.
you will really like this-don’t fight it, do as i say!
we will have fun.
come to carlos, right now.bend over this chair, do as i say.bend over!
(hoh)man! over-achiever, i love her! oh wai-i li-oh-it’s okay, i play, i play, she attack me, you saw, okay.
ummm, when you bend over, i would like to do a little trick.
i would like to make my weiner dissapear, okay?
no no, no no, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it will reappear.
and then dissapear again, really fast, it’s o-aye! i play! she attack me, you saw, okay.
she can’t keep her hands off me, look at that, okay.crazy.
i tell you what, you don’t want to do that, i tell you what.lay on carlos.
come, lay on carlos! it’s fun, come to-come! bouncy ride, bouncy ride, come on.lay on carlos! okay, okay, okay.sometimes it does not work.
a woman needs a little romance, i will give it to her.i tell you what.get on your chair, just like this, it’s okay.give me that, i tell you what, give me that water, right there.here, i’ll give you a little something, make you, put you in the mood.this is, uh, this is h-rny juice.it’ll make you very h-rny, be careful.taste.you are h-rny, huh? ahaha.i will be h-rny with you.i will be a little more h-rny than you.
oh, he wants to be h-rny too.
we will have a threesome!
jesus christ vah! ahahahahaha
i like you.you will fall in love before it’s over, don’t fight it.you are h-rny right now.i tell you what i will do, i will sing to you:

as i walk on to the stage,
tonight i turn another page,
another nitch up in my cup,
i will sit down in your lap,
look at you you turn me o-oon,
i squeeze your b–bs when we’re alo-oone
i am caught up in your trap…
i hope she dont give me the clap

okay, i play.
thanks for coming out, good night!

- rodney carrington lyrics

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