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sage (rapper) - looking back lyrics

(chorus)
i want to be a good influence on people
but sometimes i feel i’m going in circles myself
want to bring clarity to the lost, strength to the feeble
but often wonder if i even got purpose as well
and i may or may not stick around for the sequel
cuz i’m beyond tired of always going through h-ll
and heaven knows
there is only so much i can keep pulling til the rope snaps
and that’s why i’m hoping to tell you that

sometimes i sit and look back at my life
and all that’s happened and try
to grapple with the fact that it’s like
more than half of it i’ve been trying to get back
in a fight i’ve been having with time
about where i should be at in my life
it’s nagging at the back of my mind
that i’m lagging behind after where i was meant to be
and that i’m liar if i act in denial of that
and i get trapped in it like a rat in a cycle
but back to what i was rapping
i might sound like i’m actually whining
and i don’t wanna do that
cuz i’m a rapper but i ain’t the kind you want to boo at
or throw a shoe at and rotten fruit all in their face
while yelling “get off of the stage!”
nah you don’t want a problem with sage
not that i’m saying i’ma do anything bad
in fact the exact opposite, how many of you think that
in order be at the top of the totem pole
you gotta roll with those d-bags?
see that ain’t how i’m going, no

(chorus)

sometimes i look at what i write after i write it
and have what i’d have to describe as
half a laugh and a cry
having panic attacks in the night
man i wish i could describe to you all
exactly what i’ve been having to fight
but the fact is that i unfortunately can’t cuz it’s private
and if i were to let the cat out the bag
it’d scratch out my eyes
that’s why it’s a battle i’ma have to just fight alone
for the time being
cuz i’m dealing with people that are alive and well
but time will tell whether i’ll be by myself
in this giant l of a life that i’ve been dealt, for life
or if i’m embellishing, selling myself short
but which jordan’s my life, michael or a felonous belfort?
but the flow is more of a sort of a fleur delacour
that’s magical when i snap and go crazy on the beat
but honestly i don’t want you praise me y’all i’m really
just having some fun with the one thing
that makes me want to keep saying that

(chorus)

sometimes i look back
at the way it’s all happened and i
wonder why i was able to crack it back then and find
a way to babble in time when i rap
that the average rhymer could never match
and imagine if i had snapped and decided
to try to apply this talent that i’d acquired to make
myself bigger, and how big a slice of the cake
i could’ve taken if i had paraded mine in the way
that most rappers would do
but know that i ain’t trying to play
like i’m some kind of a saint
it’s just that life has a way of making you wonder
why you arrive at the fate that you do, in the way that you do
but if i have a say in mine
then i’m gonna pray til the day i die that i’ll make
mine while i’m rhyming as sage into a life i will be able
someday ‘fore i die to look back on with pride and i ain’t
about to arrive at that day by acting like i’m the greatest
prioritizing the bank
no what i’m gonna say is that

(chorus)

- sage rapper lyrics

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