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sal houdini - losing it lyrics

this one’s a little darker
yeah

i don’t have no one to come home to
i don’t have no one to count on
i don’t have anyone to call my own
n-body that i can fall down on
i don’t have, i don’t have, i don’t have no one
book a show, get the bag, happy till it’s all done
come back to the city get reminded that i’m alone
what do i lack that i don’t stand out to no one?
what do i don’t have that they have? i have plenty
all the sh-t that i get in return i’m still so empty
thought i’d be the happiest when i signed up with fenty
going through a midlife crisis in my twenties
going out to n-bu by myself ain’t satisfyin’
tired of the pain, and the hurt, and the cryin’
i know i’m a man i should start actin’ like one
trust me when i tell you and i promise you i’m tryin’
all this “you’re houdini” sh-t they give me i ain’t buyin’
all these f-cking memories they k!llin’ me i’m dyin’
hurry just hurry
’cause i got to get to my goal before thirty
and i got some people that’s dependin’ on me
but how do i work when you play me so dirty
and why can’t we just accept me bein’ perfect
i’m lyin’ i’m not girl infact i’m the furthest
i’m made from a different cloth than every person
i promise i’m workin’, i promise i’m worth it
i promise i’m okay even though i’m hurtin’
i know just how much you see and you’re lurkin’
i know that it bothers people i work with
i know they care for my health but it worsens
maybe i just need another shisha but much stronger
i don’t know the time that’s tickin’, i know i don’t have much longer
and my soul is out my body and these days that thing just wanders
when i die and in my casket throw that sh-t under the water
let it sink with all the pain this world done gave me for the longest
i got like 3 different hitters posted up like i’m in congress
sh-t, i had a lot of dreams of wifin’ you i’m bein’ honest
and my blood is boilin’ hot like a hot summer day in august
sh-t
am i losin’ it
am i losin’ it oh, oh
am i losin’ it
am i losin’ it oh, oh

- sal houdini lyrics

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