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salad dodgers - microwaved chicken lyrics

[intro]
where’d you serve man? your local dairy queen?
no actually i’m able to play this game
’cause i bought a pc and downloaded it

[verse 1: cruise control, lardball]
how much grease can you fit inside of me?
oh scratch that bro, i’m not as fit as you can see
if you cut your nails please put it on a plate
anything that’s solid is a meal i won’t waste
just like frozen chicken yeah, i eat it on the sell by date
in large quantities like children near a birthday cake
cook in 5 minutes yeah you know that i can’t wait
if you don’t hurry i’ll eat you for goodness sake
i’m a pro, captain, and all star in eating
buffalo chicken in a box i’ll be seeking
went to jail for stalking the chef, i was peeking
not at thе man’s ass, but his food that he was heating
when i was caught his mouth was squеaking
and a lawsuit came, i went “b+tch you are tweaking”

[verse 2: cruise control, lardball]
my belly my rules, oh wait wrong song
say i should be healthy, you are very wrong
not gonna lie the chef had a good thong
if you challenge me, we cannot get along
yeah i love to eat, and i love to rhyme
i’m never full, and i’m never satisfied
my rap game is strong, but my waistline is bigger
i can’t move fast but i can eat like a tiger
i’m a big old man, this suit is gonna split
i try and squeeze in but the costume won’t fit
my belly’s hanging out, it just ain’t right
i can’t be out in public or folks will get a fright
[verse 3: cruise control, lardball]
i eat bowls of chicken with a big side of cheese (what)
it’s worth it even though i get diabete (okay)
i get turned on when i get a wedgie
i’m the most popular in the downstreet deli
someone stole my chicken, yeah the plot thickens
at my microwave the mission begins
and i see it gone, and i start to get sickened
now that it’s missing, how will i rethicken?

- salad dodgers lyrics

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